This Time Last Year

I know I should be cleaning. I know I have guests coming in three hours. But I just can’t help remembering that this time last year we were on our way to the hospital to get me checked, but were sure I wasn’t in labor. We thought surely they’d examine me and tell me that what I was feeling were simply Braxton-Hicks contractions. I figured I’d apologize and then sheepishly call my parents and Jake’s parents and tell them that it had all been a false alarm.

Instead I was told I was four centimeters dilated with a bulging bag of water. And later that day we met our girl for the first time. It’s funny how that day, I had no ability to think toward the future. All I could do was focus on what was happening at that exact moment, which helped me to not freak the fuck out as I am wont to do. But today, almost a year later (I realize we are one day shy but this all took place on a Sunday so I’m counting it) it’s hard not to look both backward and forward.

How many birthday parties will I plan in the course of her lifetime? How many banners and balloons will I hang to celebrate her? How long until she starts to think of our family celebration as the obligation before she can go have fun with her friends? Will I give her guilt over feeling that way?

But more importantly, where is my champagne? Jake and I deserve it after having survived this first year.

Filed under General Sappiness, Mommy Zombie |