Remember When It Used To Be A Secret?

Y’all, I have simply had it with Victoria’s Secret. It seems lately that the only women they employ are gum-snapping, text-messaging teenage airheads whose boyfriends think it’s sexy that their girlfriends get to buy thongs for 50% off.

Remember when it used to be a quiet, serene, softly-scented place that only women dared to enter? Even on a weekend, when the mall was lousy with people, men respectfully waited outside with the kids in the strollers. Not now, though.  Men have no compunction whatsoever about standing around amidst the previously unmentionables with the kids fresh from their soccer games, barely trying to restrain the kids as they run rampant through the stores. The place reeks of all the different scented lotions and candles they sell. The lighting is harsh, all the fixtures are white or black. In short, it’s simply an unpleasant experience to enter a Victoria’s Secret store these days. I thought I was the only person who felt this way. But the other day, Karin and I popped in together because we both needed something. After looking around for less than five minutes, we beat a hasty retreat. Not only were the items we wanted not easily found, but the atmosphere was so unpleasant that we couldn’t stand to be in the store long enough to find them. And after having been initially greeted by the annoying teenager, we did not see another employee again.

I’m not shy about the fact that I wear a bra. I don’t expect the store to have a “no men allowed” policy. But what did the do to change the atmosphere to something that is the retail equivalent to Las Vegas?  I’m not saying they shouldn’t hire teenagers. But why don’t they have dress codes and codes of conduct for all employees that makes it seem less like you’re stepping into an Applebees?

I just want there to be one last bastion of femininity, a sacrosanct place where my panty preference is not announced to everyone within earshot of the registers as the associate tries to oversell me - “You know these V-strings are 3 for $15? You sure you don’t want to pick up a couple more?”

From now on, I’ll be buying my undergarments at a department store. At least at the department stores, they have the good sense to put the lingerie departments near the housewares and baby clothes, the places men fear to tread anyway.

Filed under Pet Peeves |