Comments on: Dealing With It http://www.spuddybuddy.com/1310/dealing-with-it/ Now with a side of tater tot Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:51:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: KIm http://www.spuddybuddy.com/1310/dealing-with-it/#comment-9035 KIm Fri, 16 May 2008 17:25:00 +0000 http://www.spuddybuddy.com/?p=1310#comment-9035 (((HUGS))) I totally understand and I am not sure for me if the longing for another baby will ever subside. I was blessed with three wonderful boys the first through clomid on the first cycle, the second thru injecatbles and iuis and the fourth cycle. Then third was 2 1/2 years, too many iuis to count, 6 miscarriages and the loss of his twin at 18 weeks. My husband thought I was nuts because I really did consider going back to the re. My family begged me not to do that to myself again. Honestly I really did almost make an appointment. Then a good friend of mine had a miscarriage and then another friend also suffered a loss. The emotions were still to raw and I woke up one day knowing that if I did perchance get pregnant again, I would probably have to be committed to make it thru the nine months. From then on I knew that adoption was the plan for us. We are officially "paper pregnant" and waiting for a daughter from South Korea. Since I have three boys, there is a lot of clothing and toys that will not be appropriate for a girl. I find it really hard to part with it. And to tell you the truth I do have a bin of things that I cannot get rid of. I am thinking about paying a woman to make a quilt for me with pieces of their blankets and clothing. But then again I love to see the size of the newborn clothes and show them how much they have grown. I know it is different since I have more than one child but I just wanted to let you know I understand how hard it is to part with baby items. Because that bedding and those clothes represent a dream, a dream that you once thought would never come true. And to get rid of that tangible proof is hard. I wish you peace wherever your heart leads you. (((HUGS))) I totally understand and I am not sure for me if the longing for another baby will ever subside. I was blessed with three wonderful boys the first through clomid on the first cycle, the second thru injecatbles and iuis and the fourth cycle. Then third was 2 1/2 years, too many iuis to count, 6 miscarriages and the loss of his twin at 18 weeks. My husband thought I was nuts because I really did consider going back to the re. My family begged me not to do that to myself again. Honestly I really did almost make an appointment. Then a good friend of mine had a miscarriage and then another friend also suffered a loss. The emotions were still to raw and I woke up one day knowing that if I did perchance get pregnant again, I would probably have to be committed to make it thru the nine months. From then on I knew that adoption was the plan for us. We are officially “paper pregnant” and waiting for a daughter from South Korea.

Since I have three boys, there is a lot of clothing and toys that will not be appropriate for a girl. I find it really hard to part with it. And to tell you the truth I do have a bin of things that I cannot get rid of. I am thinking about paying a woman to make a quilt for me with pieces of their blankets and clothing. But then again I love to see the size of the newborn clothes and show them how much they have grown.

I know it is different since I have more than one child but I just wanted to let you know I understand how hard it is to part with baby items. Because that bedding and those clothes represent a dream, a dream that you once thought would never come true. And to get rid of that tangible proof is hard. I wish you peace wherever your heart leads you.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.spuddybuddy.com/1310/dealing-with-it/#comment-8972 Sarah Fri, 09 May 2008 11:00:14 +0000 http://www.spuddybuddy.com/?p=1310#comment-8972 I could be way off, but part of the sadness you are experiencing is not just because there may not be a #2, but grieving that your baby isn't a baby anymore? I was sad when I packed up Lance's bedding and I don't know if I can part with it yet, I am not going to be needing it, but the thought of getting rid of it makes me tear up. Just remembering setting everything up and getting ready for his arrival and staring at him in that HUGE crib when he was so little, ah, it is too much. So what I am saying without trying to rub things in your face is, I am expecting another baby and I still cry when packing up Lance's "baby" stuff and I feel very similar to you and think it isn't just about another baby, but mourning that your baby isn't a baby anymore. Does that make sense? I could be way off, but part of the sadness you are experiencing is not just because there may not be a #2, but grieving that your baby isn’t a baby anymore? I was sad when I packed up Lance’s bedding and I don’t know if I can part with it yet, I am not going to be needing it, but the thought of getting rid of it makes me tear up. Just remembering setting everything up and getting ready for his arrival and staring at him in that HUGE crib when he was so little, ah, it is too much. So what I am saying without trying to rub things in your face is, I am expecting another baby and I still cry when packing up Lance’s “baby” stuff and I feel very similar to you and think it isn’t just about another baby, but mourning that your baby isn’t a baby anymore. Does that make sense?

]]> By: Helen http://www.spuddybuddy.com/1310/dealing-with-it/#comment-8971 Helen Fri, 09 May 2008 08:33:30 +0000 http://www.spuddybuddy.com/?p=1310#comment-8971 I feel the same way, Donna. I too have this knotted feeling in my stomach knowing that this is it, but at the same time I know and accept that it's all over. Angus' brother has three friends who are all expecting, and so everytime the babies grow out of something, I box it up and get it out of the house as fast as possible to his brother, who is distributing everything amongst his knocked-up friends (look! Bridget's clothes are still in circulation! It's fantastic!) I do it to not remind myself that little people are not in my future now, and also as a way to rip off the band-aid faster to hurt less. I feel the same way, Donna. I too have this knotted feeling in my stomach knowing that this is it, but at the same time I know and accept that it’s all over. Angus’ brother has three friends who are all expecting, and so everytime the babies grow out of something, I box it up and get it out of the house as fast as possible to his brother, who is distributing everything amongst his knocked-up friends (look! Bridget’s clothes are still in circulation! It’s fantastic!) I do it to not remind myself that little people are not in my future now, and also as a way to rip off the band-aid faster to hurt less.

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