Progress
My friend Audrey had her baby on Wednesday afternoon, and I went to see her in the hospital yesterday. I was nervous about doing that, since I’ve been dealing with the yearning for a second baby that will most likely never come. I didn’t know how I’d be able to handle the scene there. But we suck it up and do things for our friends, don’t we?
And y’all, it was ok. It really was. I cried some, but it was just out of happiness for her and the beauty of the new baby. It wasn’t jealousy or sadness or anything negative at all. I forgot how tiny they are when they are born and how cute the little noises they make are, and how they’ll fall asleep anywhere after they have a full tummy and it doesn’t matter who’s there or making noise. It was all so familiar.
Yet, I found myself thinking, “I don’t want this right now.” Now, whether that’s how I feel deep inside or just self-preservation talking, I can’t say. But it doesn’t matter. I just thought about waking up every two hours and sore nether regions and engorgement and milk coming in and I just can say that I don’t want to be there right now. And since I can’t be there, it’s a win-win situation.
I think this is progress. What about you?
Filed under Fertile Myrtle |3 Responses to “Progress”
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I am glad to hear that you are content with your child status, seeing a newborn while yearning for one can be hard.
It does seem like progress to me….and really, whether it’s self-preservation or not….your feelings exiting the hospital could have been alot more difficult to handle. Take it, don’t question it, unless you really need to.
I’m all about taking it when it’s handed over at the moment..:*) Can ya tell?
Sounds like real progress to me too! But what do I know? So glad to hear that all is well with A&A.