A Public Service Announcement (ooh and a contest!)

I may have mentioned before that my pet cause is ovarian cancer, for several reasons. First and foremost, I lost a dear childhood friend to ovarian cancer when she was 25. I also feel that it needs to be brought to the attention of women. We need to do for ovarian cancer what has been done for breast cancer.

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month, and while you likely won’t be seeing anyone wearing an aqua ribbon or any yogurt containers with aqua lids, take a moment to learn a little bit about it. (Although I am going out tomorrow to buy some aqua ribbon to wear all month. Today is Jake’s birthday and we have been busy celebrating all weekend.)

Ovarian cancer is often called the Silent Killer because its symptoms are so vague and unalarming. Many times women just chalk them up to dietary issues. Sadly by the time the disease makes itself known, it’s often too late for effective treatment and the cancer has spread to other vital organs. This is why ovarian cancer is so deadly - it’s not that the cancer itself is more aggressive than other kinds of cancer; it’s just that it is so often overlooked because its symptoms are easily explained away.

Ovarian cancer ranks fifth in cancer deaths among women, more than any other cancer of the reproductive system. If the cancer is caught before it has spread out of the ovary, the five-year survival rate is 93%. However, only 19% of of ovarian cancers are found at this early stage. Symptoms associated with ovarian cancer include: feeling bloated, vague abdominal and pelvic discomfort, gastrointestinal symptoms (such as gas, nausea, diarrhea, constipation), back pain and fatigue.

Currently there is no good screening test for ovarian cancer. All you can do is get your annual gynecological exams (complete with the fondling of your ovaries to feel for lumps and cysts) and if you have persistant symptoms, ask for a transvaginal ultrasound and the CA 125 blood test.

I’m also going to do an aqua themed contest. To enter the contest, all you have to do is leave me a comment on THIS POST ONLY telling me that you have been getting your yearly gynecological exams, or if you haven’t been, that you vow to make your appointment this month. I’ll be taking you at your word on this and if you lie, well, you’ll only have your conscience to deal with. The contest will stay open until September 15, so you have plenty of time to find your health insurance card and call your doctor, or ask your sister/mother/aunt/coworker/best friend/dog sitter for the name of their doctor. I’ll choose the winner on September 16th, and a lovely aqua themed gift assortment of my choosing will be on its way to the winner. It won’t be tacky, I promise. Feel free to pimp my contest on your own sites. The goal is to increase awareness. If I get enough entries, I might just choose more than one winner. I’m just that nutty.

Stand By Your Man

Or can you? At least in a visible way?

Tonight, after much debating we put an Obama for President sign in our yard. And I’m really nervous about having done this.

Let me back up. I love Texas. I really do. I’m not a native Texan but given my choice, I’ll probably live here until I retire to a beach in South Carolina. But I am ashamed of how close-minded and shall we say, judgmental many of the residents of this state are. I do think that many people around here don’t use their brains a lot of the time, especially when it comes to matters of politics. Now, I’m not attacking anyone. I just think that some folks need to actually educate themselves on issues and the platforms of candidates before backing or dismissing them. This goes for both political parties. Just because your daddy’s daddy’s daddy’s daddy voted Democrat should not be the sole reason you vote for a Democrat. That’s not reason enough. Every voter’s responsibility is to educate themselves, via multiple sources to minimize bias, on the issues to determine what really matters to them before they cast a ballot. If you can’t or won’t do that, then you are unqualified to vote. Yes, I said it and I mean it. I don’t believe that straight party voting should even be legal. But I’ll get off my soapbox now because that’s not the point of this post and I’m already treading into dangerous political waters and my blog is not about politics. Plus my blood pressure is rising and it’s too late at night for that.

So now we’ve got this yard sign. In a neighborhood where we’ve already been targeted by some acts of minor vandalism. In a neighborhood where I suspect that many folks would fall over dead if a black man became president.

But we finally had to say, fuck it. We have every right to express our support for our candidate, just like the McCain supporters. And isn’t the point of living in the US to enjoy the freedoms we hold dear, in this case to say what we want, support who we want, and not be persecuted for it? So we are making a stand and taking a chance that no one will damage or tear down our sign.

But I bought two, just in case. Come on, there is a difference between optimism and stupidity.

Maybe Not a Road They Want to Go Down?

I just saw a Hell-Mart Wal-Mart commercial about how they “do more at night so we have more people to help you during the day.” Oh, you mean the illegal immigrants you pay less than minimum wage to, and then lock in overnight so they can’t leave? Oh right. That’s to help us.

One of the biggest reasons that company makes my ass clench.

Go Red for February

Did you know that women are far more likely to die of a heart attack than anything else, including all kinds of cancer?

February 1st was National Wear Red Day for heart disease awareness. I’m a little late in posting this, but I thought it was still a good idea to post. Better late than never even if it’s too late to wear red for the cause. Go to the website, take a health assessment, join the movement, make a donation, or buy some Go Red stuff. It’s for a good cause.

As a side note, I searched all over hell for an HTML image to post for this entry and could find nothing. I even emailed them and got no response. That may be my answer as to why the Pink Ribbon people are making huge amounts of money and have raised awareness to an almost annoying level, and yet the Go Red movement is virtually unknown. Hmmm… something to think about.

Disgusted

Just accidentally caught the end of an episode of The Bachelor on ABC and I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

This complete jackass has, at this point, three beautiful women vying for his affections on national television. I know it’s harsh but all I can think is how pathetic that is for them. Why would you want to do that? I realize that many of the women who go on that show are just seeking fame but still. Why would you want to be shown fighting for a man you barely know?  And the worst part of what I saw was that while at dinner, the jackass and one girl were given a key to a “fantasy suite” if they wanted to spend the night together. I don’t watch the show so I don’t know how many of the other girls went to the room with him but ewwwww….. So not only is this one chick lowering herself to beg a man to love her on TV, she is also sleeping with him knowing there is every chance he is also sleeping with the other two.

I need a shower now.

Live and Let Live

Over the past couple of months, I have found myself in situations where I am talking to relative strangers, for example, my parents’ neighbors. We meet, we do the chit-chat, we ask about the ages of each other’s kids, and offer compliments over the kids’ intelligence, cuteness, walking ability, whatever. Then I get the question. “Do you stay home with Bridget?” to which I always reply “yes.” And then it comes. The approving head nod, and the comment, “oh, that’s good,” or “yes, that’s the best thing.”

I’ve had a few people go on about WHY it’s the best thing for me to stay home with her. I’ve had it from women who don’t even have or want to have children! Excuse me, but who the hell asked you to judge my parenting choices? It’s no less annoying to me that I am being deemed “good” or “right” in these situations. What would they have said to me had I told them that I work outside the home? Would I have gotten a disapproving tsk and the pitying head tilt? Most of my good friends in real life who are moms do work outside the home and I fiercely defend their right to make that choice. They are no less good, involved or loving mothers because they choose or need to work outside the home.

It still constantly amazes me that in spite of how far we as women would like to say we have come since the dawn of the feminist movement, we still feel it’s our place to judge what other women do, especially when it comes to parenting. You see it all the time from the moment you become pregnant. All your friends and family who have been pregnant before you love to give advice.  Some of it is valuable, wonderful advice. Some of it is assvice. Some of it is simply outdated. But if you don’t follow that advice, you get judged for that, and it’s also viewed as your judgment of the advice-giver. Yes, my mother gave us cereal in our bottles and she did it at a very early age. But she was following her doctor’s advice and the popular wisdom of the time. Now we know that doing that is actually not helpful and may be a wee bit harmful in some cases. I did not give Bridget cereal in an effort to get her to sleep through the night at four months. At four months, I had no expectation for a breast-fed baby to sleep through the night.  Not doing that was not a judgment of my mother. I’m pretty sure she took it as one, though. And there is not a single moment for the rest of your life as a mother that your choices aren’t called out, examined and judged by someone. Breast vs. bottle, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, Cry It Out, feeding on demand vs. a set schedule, staying home or going back to work, public school or private school, daycare or a nanny, lots of activities or unstructured play time…. the list goes on and on.

Why? Why do we have to do it? It’s not just women. It’s all of humankind. What is it in our natures that can’t let us feel good about the choices we make unless others are making the same ones? What causes us to not see that what is good or possible or desired for one family might not be good or possible or desired for another? I guess this is a universal problem with all areas of our lives. It’s the reason why people feel it’s their business what goes on in the bedrooms, lives, religions, and marriages of others and try to legislate it. We simply want everyone to be like us and believe like we believe. Because we feel we are right and wouldn’t the world just be a wonderful place if everyone believed and thought and acted like we do? I know that’s the base motivation. But somewhere in there rational thought has to enter into our heads, doesn’t it? What happened to “different strokes for different folks”?

I am not saying that I don’t do the same. I have my opinions and judgments. Every person does. But I strive to not push my unsolicited opinion on others. This is a bit difficult for me. Have you ever looked up your birthday in The Secret Language of Birthdays? Yeah, July 11th is the Day of the Unsolicited Opinion. It’s something I strive to overcome because I know that getting unsolicited opinions is damn annoying. I’m not perfect, but I recognize it and am trying to overcome it. I will usually bite my tongue until you ask me for my opinion and then you better watch out because it’s like turning on a faucet. But I have learned the hard way to decipher whether the person asking really wants to know what you think or is simply looking for you to agree with them. And if I can’t tell, then I err on the side of caution and give the affirmation in the best way I can without actually lying. Avoidance and distraction with shiny things works quite often. Because grown-ups know that there is no such thing as taking words back. Once said, they are out there forever. As a bona-fide grudge holder, I can repeat snippets of conversation from years ago that still piss me off when I think about them.  You can’t unring a bell.  And there are some topics that you simply do not comment on, even when you are asked. Those are relationship killers.

I guess it’s just all around us. This very blog is full of judgment and catty opinions. That’s the point, really. This is my space to tell whoever wants to read it what I think. If they don’t like what I think, then they have the option of clicking right off the page. I do the same thing with blogs I don’t care for. I, like most other bloggers, open the blog up for comments, which is an invitation for input, thoughts, and ideas, and yes even judgments.

But a line is crossed when I go up to someone and to their face express what I think about what they do without having been asked. Whether it’s my parenting choices or my selection of laundry detergent. I made it this far in life without the opinions of the woman in line at the grocery store, chances are good I can go the rest of my life without it as well.

Obligatory Feminist Post

This morning I got my butt out of bed way too early for a Saturday and got ready, wrapped up my apparently sprained ankle per the doctor’s orders, donned my warm hooded sweatshirt, and got out the door. In the car, Karin called to tell me that she wasn’t feeling very well and had to beg off running this morning. “No problem!” I cheerfully replied. I was already on my way, and even though she hoped to be able to make it later in the day, that didn’t work as conveniently into my day so I would just go on as planned.

I got to the park at 7 a.m. and it was still dark. There was one other car in the parking lot. And I was afraid to get out of my car. I was afraid to go running by myself because the sun wasn’t up yet.  That other lone car made me nervous.  So I turned around and came home.  And I have to tell you, I am pissed off about that. Not about the running because I will work the run in later today, hopefully with Karin, even though it’s not as easy to do when the baby is already awake. I am mad about the fact that, because I am female, I have to worry about my safety at times and in situations when a man wouldn’t have to give it a second thought. No man ever crossed a dark parking lot and worried about who was lurking the shadows, fumbling for his keys so he could get into his car and lock the doors quickly. No man ever thought to check the backseat of his car before getting inside. No man was ever afraid to run in the dark because he wasn’t sure if some crazy killer/rapist was hiding in the woods around the park. I know this is a common complaint and there is nothing to be done about it. It’s just the world we live in. Better safe than sorry, and all that. But sometimes things are just so unfair that you want to lay down and throw a kicking, screaming fit about them. Today I’m not enjoying being a girl. Today being a girl feels like one more thing I have to find a solution to. Maybe that solution is an ankle holster for when I jog.*

*I’m really just kidding there. I will never own a gun. But sometimes it seems like a good idea.

An Unpopular Opinion

Well, it’s October. And that means that it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am about to go on a rant here, please pardon me for a moment.

I want to preface this by saying that I am all for breast cancer awareness and all for finding a cure for breast cancer. I mean, I have breasts and I’m pretty fond of them. I’d like to keep them healthy and all that. And I personally know three breast cancer survivors, one of whom is my aunt and two of whom are friends my age. But this pink ribbon stuff chaps my hide.

First of all, I think that many, many women cling to this as “their” cause because they, like me, have breasts and are fond of them. Breasts are such a symbol of our femininity and it does seem to strike at our core that something so inherently female could be the cause of our demise. But the fact is that more women die every year of heart disease. And yet there is no ribbon campaign for that. In fact, most women I think live comfortably with the mistaken belief that their husband is more likely to die from a heart attack than they are. I think that many women feel like they are taking charge of their health by doing their self exams every month and getting their mammograms. I say this based on the experience I have had of talking with many women, my mother included. My mother will buy any pink ribbon item you put in front of her face. Telling her that she should stop smoking, get some exercise and eat better yields nothing but blank stares.  But by god, every year when she gets her mammogram, she wants….. well, she wants a pink ribbon. Never mind that we have no family history of breast cancer (my aunt who is a survivor is an aunt by marriage). Never mind the fact that her father died of a heart attack. All she needs to do to get her pat on the back and feel good about taking charge of her health is do her self exam and get her mammogram. And buy some pink ribbon stuff for good measure. I hardly think she is the only woman out there who thinks this way.

The pink ribbon people have done an excellent job of marketing this disease, but I think to the detriment of other things. What about ovarian cancer? This is also uniquely female - actually breast cancer isn’t even uniquely female; men sometimes get it also - and much deadlier as it usually tends to be found much later. Where is the ribbon for my ovaries? Where is the awareness? Why don’t we do a three day walk for our ovaries? What about colon cancer? We could have a brown ribbon for that, of course. Colon cancer is very deadly and hard to treat. What about our lungs? Lung cancer is also more deadly and contrary to popular opinion, doesn’t occur only in smokers. Take Dana Reeve for instance. Or my aunt for that matter. She had cancer all over her body (although not in her breasts) but it was the cancer in her lungs that killed her at age 40, and she never smoked a single cigarette in her life. What about prostate cancer? This is a uniquely male cancer and I have seen one product (Anthony Logistics for Men) that proudly states it donates a portion of its profits to prostate cancer research. There is a blue ribbon campaign out there for prostate cancer, but I doubt many people know about it.

A friend brought up a good point about the fact that companies are totally pimping the pink ribbon thing and we as a society are buying it hook, line and sinker. Take that popular yogurt company that says they will donate ten cents for every pink yogurt lid we send in, up to  $1.5 million. Why should we have to send in the lids? If they are that committed to the cause, why don’t they just make their donation? Because the pink ribbon is a huge marketing tool and they are cashing in on the pink ribbon gravy train. If we buy enough yogurt, donating that $1.5 million won’t even affect their profit line but they still get the tax break. Breast cancer has almost become trendy. And please, I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way (see above note about two friends and an aunt with breast cancer) but you know I am right. When a character on Sex and the City got cancer, did she get ovarian or colon cancer? No, she got breast cancer. It’s the cancer of the moment.

Now again, don’t get me wrong. I think that the Komen organization has done wonderful things. I know that when it was founded, times were different for people diagnosed with breast cancer. I am not taking a shot at Komen or breast cancer.

I just think that it’s high time we took our pink blinders off and maybe took note of the other cancer research that needs to be done and that could use our donations and support and awareness. I support all cancer awareness and research.  I’d really love to see Komen move its fund-raising and marketing focus in a more general cancer direction. They have the ability to do it and do it well. Maybe market a joint venture of some sort with the American Cancer Society would be the way to go.

Alright, my rant is over for now. I know I have pressed a button for some of you out there and I hope that no one takes my thoughts as disrespectful or insensitive, because I certainly do not mean them in that way. I just think we need some pink ribbon reform, that’s all.

I Was Just Kidding But…..

they do make an Obama onesie!

This and That

My life has taken a sudden turn for the quieter and I’m very pleased with that. I can honesly say that if I were still at work this week, I do not know what I would do. I am so enjoying the ability to work on MY tasks, then take a rest, then eat a snack, drink some water, then work on what I need to do some more. I think I’d be in the midst of a breakdown at this moment if I was still commuting to work and putting up with shit there.

I had my last baby shower last night. My group of girlfriends from my old job before moving to New York threw it for me at Maggiano’s. Total there are six girls, but one of us moved away to Maryland earlier this year so our gatherings have been just the five remaining Dallas-ites for a while. It was fun, as always to see everyone. I am the second to last in the group to have a baby. My friend Cyndi, who I guess you would say is my probably the friend in that group I’m closest with, is pregnant for the second time. She’ll be the first to have two kids and she’s kind of freaked that they will be less than two years apart. Oh, and everyone else has had girls so if Curtainrod really does end up being a boy, he’ll have his pick of all those older ladies when it’s time for him to start thinking about dating!

Election Day has come and gone again. I don’t really like to write about politics here because I know you don’t read this site for political commentary. But I’m sure no one will be surprised to hear that I am pleased with the overall national picture as far as the control of the House goes, but saddened by 1) the re-election of the Governor Fabulous (Rick Perry - if you want to know why I call him that, do a search and check out that hair of his) here in Texas; 2) the re-election of Satan Senator in a Bouffant Hairdo (Kay Bailey Hutchison) also here in Texas; and 3) the number of states that passed bans on gay marriage. I’m not surprised by any of those three things but that doesn’t mean I am pleased with them either.

I had Curtainrod’s carseat installed today. I know the damn thing comes with installation instructions, but then you hear the scary statistics that something like 85% of infant car seats are installed improperly. I don’t want to be in that 85%. I had searched around looking for a place that would do it and heard that fire stations across the country do installations. Not in Garland, Texas though. Apparently, there have to be certifications to do installs and sadly that doesn’t seem to be a priority of the City of Garland fire department. But someone at City Hall let me know that Rusty Wallis Volkswagen does car seat installations. I called and made an appointment with a very nice man named Craig, who assured me that it was ok that I do not drive a Volkswagen and that no, there really is no charge for it; they do it as a service to the community. I showed up about 15 minutes early today and he started right away. It took about 25 minutes, but when you are dealing with your baby’s car seat, you will wait however long you have to wait. He walked me through some tips for strapping the kid in and a few other safety things - like you should NOT put a towel down under the seat. I had brought a towel with me, but he said that the only thing you should use is something very thin with a no-slip back and that a towel will move around which is why you shouldn’t use them. Anyway, City of Garland? Can’t be bothered to get certified to install car seats. VW dealership? They can. If you live in Dallas and ever need car seat installation or know someone who does, I just can’t say enough good things about the process. We will be in the market to replace my car sometime in the next few months, and while I was already interested in a couple of Volkswagens, you can bet that my first stop will be to Rusty Wallis to look and test drive. That, my friends, is very smart business. I’m sure Jake will have a thing or two to say about this when we take his car in to them for the installation of the extra base in his car.

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow and hopefully I’ll hear news of further dilation. I’m not necessarily ready to evict the kid, but it would be nice if I started the labor process already dilated a few centimeters. I really don’t want to have the baby any earlier than the week of Thanksgiving, but I know I have zero control over that. Unless I beg for an induction, which I don’t feel the need to do just yet. Back pain and all, I’m happy to keep the kid inside me for a few more weeks.

So it seems that Britney and K-Fed are divorcing. Big shocker there. I do have to give props to the paparazzi here, though. In general, when they start reporting something, no matter how much the celebs involved deny deny deny, we always find out a few months later that it was true all along. I don’t think what the paparazzi does is admirable in any way, but they’ve certainly got their intelligence together. Maybe some of them should have been recruited by the Bush administration a few years ago. I’m just saying.