2006 in Review

January - a very emotional month. We ended up taking the month off from trying for a baby unexpectedly, although I did end up ovulating on my own, the old fashioned way. Didn’t get pregnant though. Jake traveled a lot, a friend moved away, and I cooked a lot. I also made a vow to try to be more positive.

February - Not pregnant AGAIN. Jake left his long-time job at LEGO after much discussion and debate. Discovered the wonder that is the IPEX bra by Vickie’s Secret. Had an HSG and started up the IUI roller coaster again, during which my right ovary proved to be a rock star but almost caused me to have my cycle canceled due to too many follicles. Doctors don’t like the idea you might get pregnant with ten babies. Kept up the positive thinking.

March - Found the heavenly candy bar that is the Hershey’s Take Five. Ovaries decided to stop working overtime and I ended up with three follicles. Had an IUI. Had a premonition on the way to my IUI. Waited. Went to Austin. Still thinking positive. Staying busy at work helped keep my mind off the waiting. Planned our trip to Hilton Head. Oh, and found out I was pregnant! Started feeling pregnant, and was not given a reprieve from the waiting game - I started the long wait for the ultrasound to see the heartbeat. Also started the process of getting a sprinkler system and paid off one of my student loans.

April - managed to stay pregnant. Saw the heartbeat and calmed down a bit. Jake and I celebrated our fifth anniversary. I bought my first maternity clothes, although I didn’t really need to. Met some neighbor kids who plied me with gossip about the neighborhood.

May - definitely in the grips of the first trimester. Queasy, tired, and cranky. Saw Bono speak at the World Affairs Council. Outgrew my underwear. My dad’s mother passed away, leaving me with only one living grandparent. Heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time and cried. Registered for baby stuff and bought our baby furniture. Started paying someone to clean the house. Bought a maternity bathing suit (ick!)

June - felt horror for the first time as I peed my pants when I sneezed. Won a radio contest for the first time in my life. Neighbor hooligans tried to break into the house, probably to steal booze. Feet started swelling. Went to Hilton Head and found the place I want to retire to, next year if possible. Felt the baby move for the first time.

July - Sprinkler system was installed, thank god. Had my 32nd birthday. Made a late night trip to the emergency vet with Lucy. Suffered from my first, but certainly not my last leg cramp in the middle of the night. Also had my first freak out pregnancy dream. Got a good view of the baby during the ultrasound but still chose not to find out the sex of the baby. Jake left his “regular” job to work for himself. The baby’s kicks got harder so that they could be felt from the outside.

August - One word - HOT. Threw a baby shower for a friend. Two of the Infertile Bitches got knocked up which thrilled me to pieces. Another Infertile Bitch got knocked up but suffered a terrible loss, which broke my heart. Met my brother in law’s new girlfriend, who is adorable. Made a tough call and decided that I would define my relationship with my mom’s mother rather than let my mother guilt me into having a relationship with her.

September - Still hot, feet swelling to unbelievable sizes daily. Jake’s birthday. Discovered the joy in a grape slush from Sonic. A new niece joined the family on September 11, giving me a reason to think of that date with something other than sorrow for the rest of my life. Started having pregnancy brain really badly this month. Missed the state fair due to swollen feet. Got too big to comfortably put on my own shoes and socks.

October - Went to childbirth class. Outgrew my favorite maternity shirt. Pushed the limits on how much the skin on my feet would stretch as they continued to swell. Tried to subtly teach an etiquette lesson to a disgusting co-worker to no avail. Finished up the baby’s room. Had a scare that my water broke, but it turns out I just peed myself. Had two baby showers. Reached the point of wanting pregnancy to be over and wanting my job to be over.

November - Quit my job. Baby was very high up and acting as though she had no interest in dropping into the birth canal. Fought off some very bad reflux. Enjoyed two full weeks of no work and napping and getting things done. Got a new MacBook. Balanced food products on my belly. Got the house in shape for arrival of the baby. And then Bridget was born! Much love and joy. Also some exhaustion and hormone fluctuation. Best Thanksgiving ever!

December - Tough beginning to the month. Christmas was shoved into the background this year as we got used to being parents. Breastfeeding got so much better. Jake left me alone with this gorgeous creature overnight and we both survived. Christmas happened smoothly. We took the baby on her first road trip to Tulsa to meet her great grandparents. Oh, and we bought a new car yesterday.

I hope everyone has a wonderful new year!

R.I.P.

My youth. July 11, 1974 - December 30, 2006. Cause of death - getting rid of zippy sporty car for a family friendly SUV.

We bought an Explorer yesterday. Not a monster SUV or anything, but still. We were thinking we needed to do this as we carted around all of Bridget’s crap for multiple Christmas outings, and it was tough in both of our cars. Plus getting her carrier in and out of the base in my car was a real chore - I needed something with more head room. I know it’s practical but still…..

Sadly, my Maxima sits out front of our house waiting to be turned in next week. I wish we could have turned it in yesterday because looking at it every time I walk down the stairs is making me sad.

Holiday Catch Up

Whew! What a week! Seems like we’ve been moving non-stop.

Friday, Sarah and her HUSband stopped by on their way to a family gathering. Unfortunately, Bridgie was not acting like a nice hostess and cried the whole time they were there. I could see HUSband deciding then and there that children were NOT such a good idea for them! (Just kidding)

Saturday we went to see Jake’s sister and her family to exchange gifts and be Christmas-y with them. Bridget again wasn’t very sociable, but when offered a warm chest to sleep on by our BIL, she took the opportunity and ran with it. That night we went to our traditional Christmas Eve EVE celebration at the home of some dear family friends. (We just always made time to get together and it always seemed to fall on the 23rd, so we named it Christmas Eve EVE and now we call it that all the time, even if we get together on the 26th.) It was Bridgie’s first party and she was a smash hit, if I do say so myself. Of course, so were all the kids. Our friends had not met The Girl yet either, since she was just born on September 11. Oh, and I tried to put Bridget in a pretty pink dress we got as a gift and she screamed like her hair was on fire. So we opted for a holiday themed sleepy suit from Old Navy and she quieted down. Does this indicate an early disposition against dresses? We’ll have to wait and see.

Sunday, I got up very early with Bridgie. Well, I can’t complain because she started a trend on Friday night of eating around 10 p.m. and then sleeping until 5 a.m. or so. (By the way, that trend ended on Monday. sigh.) Sunday we got up and fed her at 5:30, and then I realized that it was Christmas Eve, that I had to go to the grocery store and that it opened at 6 a.m. So after I fed Bridgie, I got dressed and ran to the store, arriving around 6:30 a.m. There were more shoppers there than I anticipated for 6:30 in the morning, but it was still mostly empty. It was perfect! I got home and started cooking - cranberries and pumpkin pie, as well as spinach dip. After I finished my kitchen tasks, Jake and I decided that it was time to exchange our gifts. We knew that we wouldn’t really have much time to do that if we didn’t do it then, and I wanted him to have time to play with his new Christmas toys. I got Jake a flat panel monitor for his computer that has an iPod dock in it so that you can put in your video iPod and watch the video on the big screen. And then Bridget got him the new 80 GB video iPod so it worked out perfectly. Jake got me a new kate spade bag. I’d put a picture of the bag on here, but I can’t find the exact bag online, so here’s a link so you can see the pattern. This is not my bag, but you get the point of sort of what it looks like. He also got me an aquamarine ring, necklace and earrings, which are absolutely gorgeous. He wrote out a beautiful card that made me bawl my eyes out, all about how much the birth of our daughter means to him and to us. Honestly, that card would have been present enough because I am thrilled to know how much he loves our daughter and our family. But I’m keeping the bag and the jewelry. Our first Christmas as parents was a good one. And I know it sounds bad, but we didn’t buy Bridget a single thing. We figured there was no point, since she is five weeks old and has no clue about presents or whether she got any. She also really doesn’t need anything - we bought her a swing about two weeks ago which was the very last piece of baby gear she needed. And also we knew that the grandparents and aunts and uncles would buy her stuff, which they did so it all turned out ok.

Oh, and on Sunday, Bridget had her first bottle of expressed breast milk. We had been trying to decide when would be a good time to try to let Jake feed her a bottle - too soon and she might not want to go back to the boob; too late and she might refuse the bottle altogether. But I guess since she had a little bit of bottle feeding when she was first born, she took it like a champ. Although the feeding was over rather quickly, which left her feeling a bit confused, I think. I was both happy and sad to see her being fed by Jake. Happy because that means I can leave the house now for longer than two hours without her, but sad because she didn’t need me to feed her. Silly, I know. She does still need me.

That night we went to my Brother and SIL’s house for Christmas Eve dinner and our celebration as a whole family. Dinner was good, presents were good, my grandmother was tolerable, but Bridget had about reached her limit during present opening. Sleepy babies don’t mix very well with exuberant three-year-old boys and their noisy Christmas toys (one of which was supplied by us!). So Jake and I took turns with her out of the room - we didn’t want to be the buzz kills who tried to make a little boy be quiet with toys. But she wasn’t having any of it, so we headed home right after presents, missing out on turtle cheesecake for dessert.

Monday we got up and went to my parents’ house for more presents and dinner. Bridget was ok, but you could see that she was just about done getting handed off and held by so many people. She had a brief smiley phase just as we were finishing dinner so we took advantage of that and got some good pictures. We made it home around 5:30 (after pie of course!), in time for Bridgie Bath Night, and then started gathering gear for our trip to Tulsa the next day.

Tuesday, the kennel came to pick up the dogs at 7:30 a.m. Of course we had so much to do and get together, and then of course trying to get one last feeding in before getting in the car for four hours, that we didn’t actually leave the house until 10:30 or a bit after. The road trip was uneventful, but I don’t think Bridget every really conked out like we thought she would. We stopped one time to feed her and then by the time we got to the hotel, she was clamoring for food again, so it worked out perfectly. We saw Jake’s parents and headed out to dinner with them - Bridget’s first trip to a restaurant, which she handled beautifully by sleeping the entire time. Back at the hotel, I fed Bridgie then we went up to Jake’s parents’ room for presents. We had fun opening all the gifts, and they were too generous, as usual.

Wednesday was all about the Great Grandparents, which was the point of our trip to begin with. We saw one set during the day at their house, and then another set that evening at the hotel. Have you ever seen the movie Sweet Home Alabama? When Reese Witherspoon’s character marvels that her old high school friend has a baby…… in a bar? Yeah, we totally brought our baby to the hotel bar that night. Now it’s not as bad as it sounds. It was really just an open area lounge and there was no smoking allowed so we found a quiet back corner with a cushy sofa and some chairs and had a nice visit. Jake’s aunt and her family showed up also for a quick viewing of Bridget while we were down there. But by the end of it all, Bridget was beginning to show signs of fussiness. I think all the people and getting passed around was too much for her. We went back to the room and ate dinner, but there was no calming her down really. She had a rough night - the first time ever that she really cried for no reason. And she kept wanting to nurse, but popping off and falling asleep, then waking up screaming an hour later wanting to be fed again. OK, so lesson learned by mom and dad. Too much activity is not appreciated by a five week old baby.

Yesterday we got up and packed up, then got to eat breakfast with the only Great Grandma we hadn’t yet seen. Unfortunately the timing was off and Bridget slept through breakfast only to wake up at the end to eat, but was very fussy. So of course Great Grandma only got to hold a fussing crying baby, which I always hate to do to people. But I suppose that having raised six kids of her own, she understood. After breakfast we fed Bridgie and then got on the road. That child feel dead asleep and didn’t squawk to be fed the entire drive home. She did make noise here and there, but then as soon as we’d get to a spot where pulling off the road to feed her was an option, she’d be back asleep. We probably should have just pulled off and fed her anyway, but we opted to keep moving. By the time we got home she was hungry and grumpy. It also seemed like she got bigger on the car ride home. I know that sounds nuts, but seriously, sometimes if she sleeps a long time, we’ll notice that it looks like her hair grew during the nap, or in this case, that she got bigger. It’s odd. I know. Anyway… It was a rough evening, but she finally did settle down to sleep and today seems to be back to her smiley happy self.

We are going to try to make it out this afternoon to investigate buying a new car. My car is a lease which is up in March and honestly, getting all her gear in and out of my car is a hassle. I know lots of parents who have kids and do it with regular cars, but I must be a whiner because I can’t do it. I need me some cargo space! We are going to look at some SUVs today or tomorrow and hopefully get that done before the end of the year.

Now I’m going to see if Bridget will stay asleep long enough for me to shower before her next feeding. Hopefully everyone had a nice Christmas and Santa was good to you.

Merry Christmas!

Just wanted to wish everyone a safe, peaceful, and happy holiday. Eat well and enjoy your family time or tolerate it to the best of your abilities, whichever is applicable.

Holiday Meme

Saw this over at Mrs. Ca’s place and thought it might be fun and Christmas-y. Lord knows nothing else in my life is these days.

1. Hot chocolate or egg nog? Um, I despise egg nog, so I’d have to say hot chocolate. But really? I’d probably prefer coffee.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I can’t remember really. I know some things got wrapped but bigger things did not. We’ll have to figure out what we plan to do with Bridget’s gifts from Santa, but not until next year!

3. Colored lights on the tree/house or white? My preference is for white lights on the tree. Or if there has to be a color, it must be all the same color, like all red or all blue or all green. I don’t really like the multi-colored lights. Jake does, and so we made a pact that until kids came along, I could put all white lights on the tree, then once kids came, we could do the multi-colored ones. I guess next year we’ll have to buy some. But absolutely no blinking or chasing lights!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I’ll hang it if I can find it, but I actually have a kissing ball that I hang up most years. It’s more practical because it doesn’t die or wilt.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually in early December. We get real trees so we can’t put up the tree very early (the only advantage I can see to having a fake tree is that it can be put up the day after Thanksgiving. It’s tempting, but we will stick with our real ones.) I like to have the rest of the decorations up as early as possible though so I can enjoy them for longer.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? There are so many. I love my mom’s stuffing, I love homemade cranberry sauce, I love pumpkin pie. This year I’m making au gratin potatoes which I also love but those aren’t strictly a holiday dish.

7. Favorite Holiday memory? I used to always try to talk my dad into decorating the outside of the house and he never wanted to. He hated the thought of putting nails or staples into the house and those light hooks are a pain, he says. Every year I was away at college, we’d have the discussion and every year he’d swear that he wasn’t going to do it. And every year, I’d pull up in front of the house when I got home for Christmas break, and he would have put up lights just for me. I’m not too proud to say I’m a daddy’s girl.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My brother told me when I was six, but I didn’t believe him. When I was seven, I caught my grandmother carrying a box that the next day was marked as “From Santa.” I knew then, but played along another year or maybe two. When my parents told me, I told them I already knew.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? When I was growing up, no, not ever. Now it just depends on what our plans are for Christmas Day. If there is travel involved, we will usually open our gifts to each other and any gifts that were mailed to us on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? We have a hodge-podge of ornaments. I don’t agree with those department store trees that have a color scheme and an ornament theme - that just seems so fake to me. But tinsel is not allowed on my tree, either in the form of those icicles or tinsel garland. I just don’t like it.

11. Snow: Love it or Hate it? Love it when I can sit inside and admire it, or go play in it. Hate it when I have to drive and when it gets plowed up and turns black and slushy and nasty. That’s why I’m glad I don’t live in a snowy climate anymore. You can’t escape the black slush or the piles from the plow that last until May.

12. Can you ice skate? Nope. Not even a little bit.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Hmmmm…. as a kid, it was my Barbie Dream Cottage. As a grown up, I’d have to say my lovely kate spade bag that Jake got me last year. Or I should say, gave me a GC and I picked out last year!

14. What?s the most important thing? Counting your blessings. That and food.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? I’m a purist - pumpkin pie.

16. What tops your tree? We have a cool metal star that I bought at Target a few years ago. It’s not flat - it’s 3D if that makes sense and it lights from the inside. I’m not describing it well, but we like it. I also sometimes like to use a big bow and run ribbon down the sides of the tree, but Jake doesn’t like that look, so I haven’t done it in a while.

17. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving? Definitely giving. I always find myself so excited to see people open what I got them. Remembering that I have gifts to open too is always an after thought to me.

18. What is your favorite Christmas Song? It’s funny, even though I am not a religious person at all, my favorite Christmas music tends to be the religious songs - O Come All Ye Faithful, Joy to the World, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen….. I also love Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and The Christmas Song when it’s sung by Nat King Cole. Well, I love anything when it’s sung by Nat King Cole.

19. Candy canes: Yuck or Yum? Eh, I can live without them. I don’t ever eat them anyway.

OK, I definitely feel more Christmas-y now!

No Christmas Spirit Here

We have made a terrible mistake.

We decided that digging out the Christmas decorations and then packing them all back up this year would be way too much trouble with a newborn. So we decided not to put up a tree. But I thought we would at least decorate the mantle with our stockings and such, and get Bridget her stocking. But then I realized that finding just the mantle decorations would be the same amount of work - we’d have to dig through all the decorations to determine where the mantle decorations are - so we just blew off the whole thing. We didn’t even buy Bridget a stocking or the ornament I planned to buy her for her first Christmas. I just literally threw up my hands and turned my back on Christmas this year. And I hate it.

Jake’s mom was very sweet and sent a box of Christmas decorations for us to use to dress up our mantle. We did decorate with the things she sent and now the one room looks somewhat festive. But I want to go the long way out of the neighborhood at night, just so I can drive by the front of the house to see the lights! I want my tree! I want to go through all the ornaments and remember where and when we got each one! Our tradition is to buy an ornament or something to be used as an ornament whenever we travel anywhere. It’s always so much fun to rediscover them each year and talk about the trip when we got the ornament. I want it to feel like Christmas and it just doesn’t. Instead, our front room looks like a staging area with baby gear and a shit load of presents waiting to be wrapped. Maybe when Bridget is three I’ll have time to actually wrap some presents. Luckily, I don’t have to have anything wrapped until Sunday afternoon, so you can bet I’ll be putting it off until Sunday morning.

I want to have the time and energy to cook and bake, too. I have obligated myself to make some things for Christmas dinner at my parents’ house - nothing big just au gratin potatoes, cranberry sauce, spinach dip and a pumpkin pie. All of those things (except the potatoes which will be made at my parents’ house on Christmas Day) are easy to make and can each be done in the short span of time I have in between feeding the baby. So over the course of three feedings, I can get those done. I guess it sounds like a lot, but it’s not really. And maybe since I am now obligated to make these things and can’t just decide not to do it, I’ll begin to feel Christmas-y.

Luckily, we will be going to other people’s houses for everything so we can just mooch our holiday spirit off of their decorations.

Next year, I promise that Christmas will be a real event around here. It’s really depressing to do it like we have this year.

It Was the Baby, I Swear!

Today I had to take Bridget with me to the doctor for my four-week post partum checkup. We waited a good long while in the waiting room, but my girl was in that quiet alert phase I love so much. She was wide awake and just looking around at everything. Then she got hiccups, which is par for the course and usually they don’t bother her, so it’s just a funny sound she makes. Then she started farting. At home, we just laugh when she toots and think how adorable it is. It really never occurred to me that she might do it in public one day and that other people might hear her. And worse, they might think it was me.

One Month

Today, Bridget is one month old. I cannot believe we made it through the first month already. I have to say, and this will come as no surprise to any of you, that I never thought I’d make it this far. Holy crap, the first two weeks sucked. And I mean sucked hard. I never knew anything could be so grueling. But after the poop explosion of ‘06, where I hit rock bottom (I consider actually saying out loud to your two week old infant that you can’t be her mommy anymore rock bottom) I promptly bounced off the bottom and started on my way up again. Hormones started evening out and my body began to get used to the lack of sleep, and I stopped thinking about it all so much and just DID it. And now it’s good.

I’m not saying I don’t have my moments where I wish that going to Target isn’t something I have to plan hours in advance for. And I do miss wearing makeup and looking and smelling pretty on a daily basis. And days like Sunday when two of the worst words in the English language came to be known in our house - Growth Spurt - still get me flustered and upset. But now thankfully those times are the exception rather than the rule. Most of the time, I just enjoy Bridget. I love to hold her. I love to have her sleep on my chest. I call it being trapped under the seven pound baby. Sure, I could get up, but why would I want to? I love all the cute little noises and faces she makes. I love it when she looks up at me. I’ve seen what her smile looks like, and while I’m not yet convinced she has smiled consciously thus far, I love to see her face look so happy and can’t wait for the day when I am sure she is smiling at something I have done to please her.

So it’s not perfect yet and it never will be. But I know how blessed and lucky I am to be here and I wouldn’t trade my life for anything in the world right now.

How to Make Me Cry

Saturday night, Jake and Bridget and I were watching It’s a Wonderful Life on TV. And as I was sitting there, wrapped up in the sappiness of the movie, which I love, I was blindsided by this commercial. So beautiful. I was nursing Bridget at the time and I just sat there and looked at her and cried. I’m such a sap.

We Made It

Thanks for all your support. You guys totally rock. We did indeed make it through Jake’s first business trip. It wasn’t wonderful, but it wasn’t awful either. I asked my parents to come over on Tuesday night for dinner so that I could have someone to hand the baby off to. Bridget is getting to the point where she doesn’t really like to be put down much, so I had spent all day Tuesday getting literally nothing done. That’s really ok. I mean, who cares if the dishes are done when your adorable daughter just can’t get enough of you? But by about six o’clock, I just usually want both my hands so I can reply to email - I have not yet mastered the art of one handed typing - or go to the bathroom. And grandparents always want to hold babies, so it was a win-win situation for us all. They were only here for a couple of hours but it did me a lot of good.

I just wish I could get the child to sleep in her bed. Any of her beds. We have a crib and two Pack ‘n Plays for her. See, Bridget longs to be a tummy sleeper. She’ll sleep for hours on my chest or Jake’s chest because it means she gets to be on her tummy. But I can’t put her down on her tummy in her bed, so she wakes up frequently, realizes she is not on her tummy and squawks until we bring her to bed with us. I don’t mind having her in bed with us mostly, but I don’t sleep very well. I am constantly worried that she’s going to smother under the covers or one of us will squash her. So it really just adds to my exhaustion. I know that millions of babies safely slept on their tummies before it became evil to let them do so, but when everyone starts throwing the word “SIDS” around at you, your rationality goes right out the window. Don’t get me started on how annoyed that makes me. SIDS is not a thing. SIDS is what they call it when they don’t know what else to call it when a baby dies. SIDS is not a disease or a condition or anything you can really define. But as a mother, you can’t play around with it. It’s like playing that stupid slumber party game Bloody Mary. You know rationally that nothing will happen but do you really want to take the chance? No. So you go along. And in our case, you get very little sleep.

Well, I hear her squawking down the hall, so that must mean it’s bedtime. Better get back on duty. Sometimes she just wants me. And I’m just fine with that.