This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

As a parent, I think that the regular well-child visits to the pediatrician are terrifying. It’s like a scheduled in advance appointment to be judged. It’s like trying out for American Idol. Seriously, you bring your kid in and the doctor and the nurses start examining the kid, and at the same time judging the job you are doing raising the kid. Is the baby clean and well-groomed? Is the baby growing enough? Does the baby meet all of his or her developmental milestones? It’s enough to make you feel like you are back in junior high. Or maybe that’s just me. I was both excited and nervous. What if they told me that she wasn’t gaining enough weight? Or that she should be doing something she can’t do yet? But at the same time, it would be a chance to lay some of my fears to rest, which I was very happy to be able to do. Luckily, all is well. The doctor is pleased with her growth - she is now 9 lbs and 8 oz and is 23 inches long. We didn’t go over percentiles but I really don’t care about that. Maybe I should but I really don’t care to compare her to other babies. I mean, unless she’s severely behind, in which case we need to take action, what is the point? But that’s just me. He also said that the spitting up through the nose is perfectly normal and assured us that she will probably continue to urp through her nose and all we can do is prop her up and let everything come out.

In short, if this were American Idol, we’d be goin’ to Hollywood. If it were junior high, we’d be sitting at the cool kids table in the cafeteria. We have been deemed worthy.

The bad news is that she got shots. Not just one shot. She got five shots. And one oral vaccination. My poor girl. The worst part was the pause between the first shot and her screaming. Like she was so surprised that something sharp had poked her in the leg. I cried a bit but not nearly as bad as last time when they took blood from her heels, and she did great. Almost as soon as we picked her up after it was over, she calmed down. I gave her the Tylenol just in case to ward off any discomfort she might have. But she’s still kind of grumpy and wants to be held a lot. Which I am happy to do but it makes it hard to get anything else done. Maybe nothing else will get done tonight. I’m gonna go cuddle that baby.

Elementary, My Dear Watson

The Mystery of the Screaming Baby has been solved. The culprit? Lemonade.

I had been craving lemonade for a while. See, if you recall I had some pretty bad heartburn while I was pregnant and as such, I pretty much cut out anything citrus. Friday afternoon, I noticed some frozen lemonade concentrate in the freezer and it sounded so good, I decided to make a pitcher. And over the course of the weekend, I drank the entire pitcher. It was wonderful. Until it made it into my breast milk. Apparently citrus is a common culprit of tummy upset in breastfed babies. Causes gas and spitting up. We learned in our breast feeding class that if you ate or drank something while you were pregnant there is a good chance that it won’t bother the baby in your breastmilk, that the baby in most cases would be used to whatever food it was. Not an absolute truth, but true in a lot of cases. But since I NEVER drank lemonade when I was pregnant, poor Bridgie had never had it until this weekend.

So I guess she spit up a bit, it came out her nose (which for her is the norm. It always comes out her nose when she spits up. Gross, but we anticipate her being a big hit in college if she can hang on to this talent of squirting stuff out her nose) which I think scared her because I guess she couldn’t breathe for a bit. And that woke her up completely, at which point she noticed that her tummy hurt from gas. This is my theory anyway. I don’t have footage from CSI:Nursery to confirm, but I’m making an educated guess. This all dawned on me last night when she urped again and it came out her nose and upset her, again, after I drank a couple glasses of lemonade. So I kept her upright for a bit longer than normal before putting her down, and made an extra effort to get multiple burps out of her, and gave her the mylicon drops. I am still not convinced that those things do a flingin’ flangin’ thing for gas but the doctor said they can’t hurt so what the hell?

And we had a much better night! She did wake up to nurse at 1:30 this morning, something she hadn’t done in a couple nights, but it wasn’t too bad. Then she woke up at 4 or so, but when I picked her up, she just laid her wee head on my shoulder and went back to sleep. I think she was cold. Her room tends to get a little chilly when the door is shut, but I shut the door to keep the cats out. Shelly, I am going to get some sleep sacks like you mentioned! I brought her into our room and put her in her bassinet, which I am still not ready to take out of our room, and she slept until 7 or so. Not bad at all. So the lesson here is that I don’t get a lot of lemonade again until I’m done breastfeeding. Au revoir lemonade. I’ll be coming for you in about ten months.

In other news, I had a dentist appointment today and Bridgie was a nightmare there. She cried the whole time. I had to get X-rays so she had to be out of the room, which was the beginning of the end for her. Everyone in that office had to hold her while I was getting my teeth cleaned and nothing made her happy. I finally put her on me while the girl was digging away in my mouth, but even I couldn’t calm her down. It’s so embarrassing to be the mother of the screaming baby. Oh, and I nursed her twice while I was there. The last time, my dentist walked in while I was nursing. So hi, Dr. Chuck. This is my boob. Not a body part you expect to expose to your dentist.

Tomorrow Bridgie has her two month appointment and she’s getting a shot. I’m already dreading it. I need to relax so that she doesn’t start to pick up on my anxiety and get herself even more worked up. I have some errands I want to run tomorrow afternoon, but I have a feeling mommy is going to need a valium after that visit so I don’t expect to get anything done. Pray for me, ok?

Holy Crap!

Last night Bridget managed to scare the crap out of Jake and me and I am not sure we have yet recovered.

We put her down to bed around 9 p.m. and were looking forward to night #3 of her sleeping through the night. I went to bed and Jake was down the hall in the office. Around 12:15 I was awakened to her screaming. Not just grumbling, thinking about being hungry, but full on crying/screaming like I have never EVER heard from her before. I was amazed at how fast I made it out of bed, hurdled a couple dogs and got to her room. When I got there, she had rotated 90 degrees and was perpendicular in the crib. I thought maybe she had hurt her head, but I wasn’t sure how, since we have bumper pads on her crib and her head was against one of them. I picked her up and no matter what I did, she would not quiet down. She also had her back arched and was just stiff as a board. She normally would crumple over and put her head on my shoulder and cry, but the screaming continued and she stayed stiff. I was freaked so I brought her down to Jake (he had headphones on and the office is pretty far from her room, so it’s not surprising that he hadn’t heard this going on) and he held her, but also couldn’t get her to calm down. She also was making this terrible noise like she couldn’t breathe, but obviously she could because she was screaming her head off. It was very strange. We changed her diaper, I tried to nurse her, but nothing worked. She would not stop. She did seem pretty gassy and burped several times. We gave her some gas drops but that did nothing (of course. I’m not sure why we even spend money on that “medicine”). And it definitely seemed worse when she was laying down. Jake got her calm while he sat in his desk chair with her on her back on his chest, so she was facing out. He came to bed and we decided not to try to put her back in her crib, but she would only sleep on her back, on Jake’s chest. No matter how sleepy she was, if he tried to lay her on the bed or curled up in his arm (a position she normally loves) she would start crying again. I sat up in bed and started crying myself. I was so worried about her and had no idea what to do. I felt stupid calling the doctor at 1 a.m. on a Sunday because it seemed like my baby couldn’t breathe when she obviously could breathe. Finally, slowly she started to settle down and Jake was finally able to get her to curl up next to him. I had her for a while during the night and she slept through until 6 a.m. again. I have no idea what happened to her but if it hadn’t happened, I’m sure she would have slept through again. Luckily we have a doctor appointment on Tuesday for her so we’ll bring it up then. I’m sure they’ll tell us it was nothing to worry about - obviously since she’s fine now. But I just had no idea what to do for her because I had no idea what the issue was. Maybe they’ll have some guidance for us.

Is this karma for thinking we had her sleeping through the night at two months? Probably. We’ll see if I have the balls to put her back in the crib tonight.

Halle-freakin-leujah

Last night, Bridgie slept in her crib from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m.

I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in.

I was so excited when I heard her through the monitor and looked at the clock, only to see that instead of 3 a.m. it was 6 a.m. My little girl is growing up so fast. I’m trying not to have any expectations that she’ll do this every night or even that she’ll do it again tonight. But it’s a start.

What I don’t understand is how, if I got seven hours of practically uninterrupted sleep, I can still be exhausted. But I am. I think I need to go to bed soon myself.

Overheard Just Moments Ago

Donna: “Do you want to put the rest of this bottle of [insert cola name here] in the fridge for later?”

Jake: “I don’t know. Are we going to have sex?”

If you understand his logic, you must be male. I had to have it explained to me.

Vote Early, Vote Often

Can y’all do me a big favor? Jake is vying for the chance to speak at an upcoming conference and he needs your vote! Here are the details.

1. Go to: http://communitynext.com/community-choice-discussion/

2. Click the circle next to his name (the subject is: “Community Ecology: Finding Balance When Working with Fan Groups (Jake McKee)”)

That’s it! Pass it along to your friends too if you’re up for it.

Voting ends on the 24th, so if you wouldn’t mind doing it soon, we’d be ever so grateful.

Two Months

I simply can’t believe that Bridget is two months old today. How quickly the time has gone!

She is a nursing champ now. She knows what she wants and how to go for it. When she’s hungry and I start to put her in position, she will kick her little leg and make this very excited noise, which never fails to make me laugh. She is getting big - so big in fact that it was hampering our nursing and we had to have the lactation consultant back yesterday for some instruction on positioning. Of course it worked like a charm when Miss Judy was here, but last night when I was left on my own to do it, we struggled. That’s how it went last time we saw her and we eventually worked out a way that fit us. I’m sure we’ll do the same this time. Today has already been really good.

She has started to blow little bubbles with her saliva. I just thought this was cute, but the LC mentioned that it could be a sign of the beginnings of teeth. I know it would be very early but everyone has a story of a baby who got teeth early. Judy did say that one of her boys had two teeth by three months. Yikes. Just to be safe, she gave me some tips on what to do and what not to do in case Bridget ever does bite me while nursing. I think I need to call my mom and find out when I got teeth…. It’s actually not the biting that worries me so much as the crankiness and snottiness that go along with teething. Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Bridget spends more of her days awake now than ever before. She still sleeps a lot, but her periods of quiet alert time are longer and more frequent. She loves to play. She is enchanted by her Bees in a Crib mobile, so much so that we can’t use it at night when we put her down to sleep because she’ll wake up to look at the bees. Tummy time is one thing I fall down the most on. I sometimes forget to do it every day. But she is really good at lifting her neck and picking up her head and turning it from one side to the other. A lot of her practice at this comes from being held on our shoulders. She has a mirror toy in her crib that she also likes, so tummy time is often done in the crib. Jake discovered that she likes Peek-a-Boo, only in our house it’s cleverly named “Where’s Bridgie?” She likes to be tickled under her chin and around her ears - that never fails to get a smile. She also enjoys having her feet tickled and kissed. So far the tummy zerbert has only gotten perplexed looks, but I’m confident she’ll grow to love getting them as much as I love giving them to her. I am so certain that any day now we will hear our girl laugh for the first time. You can tell when she’s just tickled and she makes this really cute cooing noise that I think will evolve into her laugh. I can’t wait to hear that.

Sleep is our biggest challenge right now. We do the same dance every night and it’s getting better. She starts out in her crib, but it takes a very long time to get her to go down. She will wake up about four hours later to eat and then out of laziness, I bring her to her bassinet rather than try to get her back in the crib. I know that I need to start at least trying the crib again after that feeding, but wow, at 2 a.m. I just want back in my own bed. The bad thing about transitioning her out of our bed has been that she sleeps a bit lighter now. When she slept with us, she would go for sometimes five or six hours between feedings. And lately she’s back to three, maybe four hours at the most. However, I can’t say if that’s just her cycle or if she’d be sleeping longer if we let her sleep in the bed still. But this is still better for us. I may get woken up more often, but when I do sleep, it’s a deeper sleep because I’m not worried about rolling over on her.

As for me personally, I am loving being home with her. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be back at work right now. Two of my good friends went back to work at six weeks, and the thought of that just kills me. That’s not to say that every day is a joy and that I’m not ready for some Donna time when Jake comes home. I am still transitioning into my role as the homemaker. The hours suck and the pay is even worse, but it’s the best job I’ve ever had. And I am in love with the Style network. I sure didn’t get that little perk when I worked in HR!

Baby Stuff

So an update on the baby stuff that is going on with me. Oh right, like there is anything going on with me that is not baby related, right? Sigh…..

For the record, two of the most beautiful words in the English language are Lactation Consultant. I just finished my appointment with mine and it was wonderful. She solved my problem, taught me a new way to hold Bridget that actually leaves me a free hand on one side (my other boob is too big and I need to hold it for her), and even encouraged me to pursue my interest in donating milk to the Mother’s Milk Bank of North Texas. Oh and Bridgie weighs in at just over 9 pounds now, which is a gain of about a pound a month which is just right for her. Seriously, that was the best money I have ever spent. Books and websites are great, but I am a hands-on learner and I needed the personal attention. Plus it’s just very reassuring to have a person tell you that you are doing it right.

On the sleep front, we are doing ok. Here’s a typical night for us. We usually do our last regular feeding around 10 p.m., in Bridget’s room. I tried playing a lullabye CD last night which she seemed to like. Then I put her down in her crib, with me standing over her with my hand on her tummy or on her head. I was waiting for her to fall asleep before sneaking out but last night I was just too tired and I walked out while she was awake, figuring I’d have to go back in soon, but she soothed herself to sleep. She usually wakes up around 2 a.m. or so for a feeding, and sadly, I am usually too lazy to try to put her back in her crib, so I bring her to our room but only put her in the bassinet. She usually puts herself right back to sleep pretty quickly, usually by the time I am done going to the bathroom. Then she wakes up again around 5 or 5:30 for a feeding. After that one, I sometimes do bring her to bed with me just for the last hour or so of sleep. It’s not perfect, but it’s a start and I have to say that the sleep I get with her in her own bed is so much better.

So that’s what’s going on around here. That and the crap weather. Seriously. This is Texas. We don’t get this much bad weather in one winter and certainly not for a week straight. Watch it be 80 degrees next week…..

Snow Day

Why is it that when I was working, the weather was never ever really bad enough to warrant me staying home from work? Oh sure, the drive may have taken a bit longer on occasion due to ice but it was never bad enough to have me say, screw you guys, I’m stayin’ home.

But now that I am not working, we get a bona fide snow day. Now, it’s really not THAT bad out even still, but lots of schools and such closed today, and driving was not a really good idea this morning at least. And of course, it has screwed with my schedule.

I was supposed to have another appointment with a lactation consultant this morning, but she called around 7:30 to say that her neighborhood was completely icy and it was not a good idea for me to try to go there (her office is in her home). So we have rescheduled for tomorrow, which I guess is ok, but it means juggling my work schedule (sometimes I forget I actually do have a job, I just don’t leave home for it) and it means that she is coming here rather than me going to her. Convenient in that I don’t have to pack up Bridgie and take her out in the cold, but it also means I have to clean my house. I’m trying to focus on the positive here, that she will be able to evaluate exactly how I’m feeding here and where, and so she’ll be better able to help me, I think. But still! I have to clean my house. Like all at once, not just a piece here and a piece there.

As a side note, the nursing is going well, but as Bridgie gets bigger, I am finding it more and more difficult to hold her in a position that makes us both happy. Usually, just Bridgie ends up being happy. I end up with sore arms, the beginnings of tennis elbow, and mashed nipples. I figure if I am going to keep this up for the next ten months, I better get it under control and have someone show me a more comfortable position to hold this child in. I have had no luck using books and websites to find one. I need some hands-on instruction. Before my poor nipple falls off.

Wanna Know What I’m Wearing?

I am wearing a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans. Not early pregnancy, not maternity. PRE-pregnancy!

Now, they don’t look good by any stretch of the imagination, but they went on and I got them buttoned and zipped without acrobatics. Partially that is due to the stretch factor, which is a godsend. Perhaps one day I will again buy jeans without stretch in them, but for now, I’m just thankful that some lovely scientist at the gap created stretch jeans. Actually, these are DKNY, but that’s beside the point.

I don’t even know what made me try them on. I guess it was because I was putting away a bunch of laundry, which included a bunch of pre-pregnancy clothes, and I was looking longingly at it all, wishing I could wear any of those garments again. I tried another pair (exact same jeans, just different color) about a month ago and was sorely disappointed that I could not get them on. But I figured what the hell, why not give it a try?

This is so nice because my one pair of maternity jeans that I was still wearing drive me crazy. They constantly fall down because they are low rise, which is not a good look for me ever, especially not pregnant. I bought them because they are cute (the wash and the cut of the leg) and I figured (mistakenly) that with the big long maternity shirts, that the low rise wouldn’t be obvious and that it wouldn’t bother me. Not so much. But they did see me through my pregnancy and two months after. I feel ok telling them to piss off now. I didn’t pay that much for them to begin with.

Please no hate comments ok? I have done nothing to make them fit. I don’t eat sensibly and the most exercise I get it hefting the carrier into the car a couple times a week. The only thing I do that burns calories is breastfeed. This is sheer luck. And again, that stretch. Love that stretch.