Holy Hell

As I sit here watching Blood Diamond, I am reminded of an indisputable truth. That being that Leonardo DiCaprio is HOTT. Why do I keep forgetting that? I guess that makes me a very shallow person, to be thinking like that while watching such a serious movie, but what can you do? So far the movie is great. Hard to watch, but very good.

You know what movie was not so good? Children of Men. We watched it last night, and we had both been looking forward to it for a long time but it was depressing for one thing and just didn’t hook me at all. Clive was fantastic looking, as always, but the movie just didn’t do anything for me.

OK, back to Leo…..

7 Songs

Shelly tagged me with this one, and like her, I will admit to never listening to the radio anymore. I usually hook the iPod up in the car to listen to what I like, not what they play for me. But here goes.

By far the coolest of all my seven songs is this little cutie I saw on Jay Leno and then again on Jimmy Kimmel. He’s adorable and the song gets stuck in your head.

I absolutely adore Roy Orbison anyway, and I love his original version of this song, but kd lang add something I can’t describe. I love her voice.

I swear I will love this song until the day I die. Brings back such good college memories…..

Also known as the theme song from Rescue Me on FX. Love it. I refuse to fast forward through the intro to that show and always crank up the volume so I can hear the song. Best played very loud in your car.

Honestly, I don’t care a fig about the original version of this song, but when U2 covers it, I melt.

Pure, unadulterated cheese, I freely admit. But ever since the day Bridget was born, this song goes through my head about a thousand times a day.

I love his voice and think this song is so relevant without being full of jack-assery.

So there you go. I’m not going to tag anyone specifically, but you should do it if you have time for it. You can get the buttons here.

1000th Post

This is my 1000th post. Just thought that was worthy of a mention, but that’s not the point of this post.

Bridget had her four-month check up today. And now I have written permission from her doctor to tell all the people who tell me “She’s so tiny!” that they can go straight to H-E-double hockey sticks. She IS small for her age, but according to her doctor she is growing just fine for her. She grows proportionately and just is never going to be a chunky baby. I know that I should never have let it bother me, but it really did. When people say your baby is so tiny, they are kind of implying that you aren’t feeding your baby well enough. And that really cuts me to the quick, to have people imply that I am not feeding my baby. I think any mother would feel the same way, which is why it’s especially hurtful coming from other mothers, and ones that supposedly care about me. As I say, I knew in my head that I shouldn’t worry about it and should just ignore the assvice I was getting, but there is a big difference between what you know and what you feel.

I was really panicked after she got weighed and the nurse told me what her percentiles were. By the way, I hate percentiles, I think that it’s pointless information and I feel like a lot of people (not everyone, but a lot of people) use their percentiles to be competitive. But when I got the percentiles, I was really worried that the doctor would think it meant something and my biggest fear today was that he was going to make me put her on formula. I had a rough start with breastfeeding, but I have grown quite attached to it. It’s always ready, I never have to buy it, and the best part? I never have to wash bottles! Well, not never. I do it enough to know that I hate doing it and don’t want to do it more. So I really want to keep it up for as long as I can. I was forcing myself to take deep breaths to stop freaking out. The doctor came in and we talked about her size. He was so reassuring! I have to say that I may have made a crap choice in my OB, but I was spot on with the pediatrician I chose. He is wonderful and I love him. The rest of the visit was uneventful. He did seem impressed with her ability to roll over both ways and her attempts to sit up. Then she got the shots. Not as bad as last time, and I didn’t cry this time. She got over it pretty quickly although she is pretty grumpy now. I think she’s just worn out.

Oh, and we got the go ahead to give her cereal! We did it just a little bit ago and the jury is still out on rice cereal. She made some great faces that Jake luckily caught on camera, and was definitely more interested in grabbing the spoon and putting it into her mouth so she could gnaw on it. She did end up with a good amount of it in her rather than on her bib, which surprised me. But I think as we are able to thicken it up she will like it more we’ll have more fun with it.

So now the tension is over until May when we go back for her six-month check up. I can breathe easier for a while at least.

Truly Random Shit

I’ve been trying to find time to sit down and write a blog post for days now, and now that I finally have some time (Bridgie asleep and I’m done working for today) I completely forgot what exactly it was that I was so hot and bothered to tell you all about. Hmmmm…. along with my gray hair, this could be a sign of early senility.

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Jake is out of town again. This week is going to be another rough one. He left on Sunday for San Diego and gets back tonight. But he leaves for Portland on Friday and comes back on Monday. Gah. I know you’d never have guessed it back in December when Jake took a one-night trip to Washington DC and I freaked the fuck out, but this is becoming old hat for me. I laugh in the face of his one-night trips now. I guess a little of the old me is creeping back in. Except that it seems that every single fucking time he is out of town, something goes wrong with the house. Sunday night it was an overflowing toilet, which I would rate right up there with suspension bridges as one of my biggest fears. Seriously, as a child a toilet overflowed on me once in a public restroom (phobia number 3, by the way) and it scarred me for life. But I dealt with it and moved on. Last night I noticed that the dryer (or is it drier? spell check is accepting both of those….) was making an odd noise. And did I mention that the diaper genie is on the fritz? I can’t get it to close up no matter how many times I twist it. I’m almost afraid to turn on the oven or open the refrigerator….I have to say that honestly, home ownership is not worth the headache or hassle. I would prefer to be able to call someone else to fix this stuff and have it be their problem.

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Bridgie goes for her four-month check up tomorrow. That means more shots. I am not looking forward to it. And again, I am sitting here chewing my nails as I wait for judgment. Is she gaining enough weight? Is she doing what she should be doing by this age? This is almost worse than waiting to be asked to prom.

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Go visit my friend Sarah! She is a good ol’ Texas girl who has been thrust into life as an expat in Malaysia. Her blog is hilarious and I know she’d appreciate any comment-y love you can give her.

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We are planning our vacation! I am so excited about that I could just pee my pants. But I won’t. Hopefully. Anyway, we had so fallen in love with Hilton Head last year that I was looking for a rental there again for this summer. After much research and poring over maps trying to find a place in the same general area where we stayed last summer, I found a good option, quite reasonably priced as well. But then Jake said he’d rather go to the Caribbean this year. That’s all I had to hear! I went back to the drawing board and did more research and we picked our island. We plan to go to Turks and Caicos Islands. Has anyone been there? The best news is that we have enough miles for the flight to be free, which allows us to spend a bit more on a hotel than we thought we would. I thought I had chosen a cool place which was actually like a condo right on Grace Bay Beach but they are turning it into a long-term rental this spring so it won’t be available this summer. I have a few other options in mind and actually made a reservation request for this place. I’m just waiting to get an email back from them confirming the rates and availability. If anyone has any feedback on the island in general or a recommendation on a resort, I’d love to hear it. Now I have to go and get Bridgie a passport. How exactly does one get a four-month old to sit for a passport photo? Just curious…

A Tearful Goodbye

It’s the end of an era. Today we had to banish the bouncy chair from the house.

I had Bridget in it while I was doing some work this afternoon, and I glanced over at her to see her leaning forward and over so much that she almost had her hands touching the floor. I know she isn’t strong enough or heavy enough to actually flip the thing over or put enough pressure on the straps to fall out, but still. I don’t trust it enough to feel comfortable leaving her in it.

Thank god for the Bumbo and the new entertainer toy (not an actual exersaucer, a different brand but same idea). Hopefully with both of those on hand, I’ll still be able to shower every day.

Poop

Poop. Poop all over. Multiple times.

Poop on my new pants. Poop on her new dress. Poop between my toes. Poop in the swing. Poop on another onesie.

Poop.

That about sums up what I’ve done today.

Four Months

I know I say it every month, but I absolutely cannot believe it’s been four months since Bridget came into our lives.

Sometimes I see her working things out in her head, like the wheels in there are turning and every day she is figuring out new things. She can reach up and pull the pacifier out of her mouth when she doesn’t want it, and yet still keep it in her hand. She is very sly about trying to get our hands in her mouth. When she’s being especially cute, I’ll often put my hand on her cheek. At that point it becomes a question of who is faster. Can she turn her head and get my fingers in her mouth before I pull them away? It’s so cute, sometimes I let her win. She still tries to sit herself up while in her bouncy chair, car seat or swing. Yesterday, she was in the bouncy chair and pulled her top half up, reached out and grabbed at the plastic sea horse that hangs down from the toy bar, and put it in her mouth. I just watched her do it for like five minutes, amazed that she was able to manage that, even if she couldn’t keep it in her mouth for very long. She also rolls from back to tummy with great ease. I know that she can go from her tummy to her back because I’ve seen her do it a handful of times, but she doesn’t care to do it often. No, once she felt she mastered that trick, she began to just roll onto her tummy and then try to pull her knees up under her. And she still gets over on her tummy in the night, and then yells for us to come flip her over. Except by the time we get there, she’s wide awake and realizes, “Hey, it’s been a few hours. I could eat!” and then the only thing that will get her back to sleep is nursing. Needless to say, I haven’t been getting very many good nights’ sleep these days.

I wish she’d give me a small period of time to get used to the thing she just did before she starts working on the thing she’s about to do. Just to give me time to adjust.

The other thing that I think is going on is teeth. I can’t be sure. But every few days, she has a day where she is just so completely upset and nothing helps. She doesn’t want to eat, she doesn’t want to sleep, she’s not dirty or wet and she has been burped. If she were younger, I might be tempted to call it colic but it’s not. When she has these spells, the drooling is increased, although you wouldn’t really think that was possible, and her need to chew is just manic. And if you allow her to chew on your finger, it’s amazing to me that she maneuvers your finger where she wants it in her mouth, as if she’s applying pressure where it hurts. My mom agreed with me last weekend that it was probably teeth. So when it gets terrible, I give her the tylenol. I try not to do it too much because I don’t want to use it so much that it loses its effectiveness. But since it usually yields a good long sleep, I enjoy the tylenol nights. Don’t call CPS on me, please.

Lately I’ve been taking her on walks around the neighborhood in her stroller. She really enjoys that, and we laugh at her as she rides around with her feet up on the tray in front of her. Like she’s kickin’ back and lettin’ her bitches (her father and me) do all the work. The challenge has been to keep the sun off her face when we make all the turns in the neighborhood. But over the weekend we found the cutest little sunhat for her, and I expect that Jake will get some great pictures of her in it soon. I might have to post one just because I love you all.

And lastly, we bought her an activity center on Saturday. This one, to be exact. She LOVES it. Some of the toys on it are too advanced for her right now (or maybe they are just too boring for her - hard to tell), but she has mastered one and loves to play with it. She’s just barely tall enough to be in the thing, but somehow today managed to turn herself around to a different toy to try to master that one. The best thing about this toy is that it should give me a good long time of security. I no longer really feel safe leaving her in the bouncy chair since she tries to heave herself out of it, but this should last a little bit longer and is only slightly less portable.

If I were a betting woman, I’d say that next month when I do this entry, she’ll be about to crawl. Shelly told me of an acquaintance of hers whose baby walked at nine months. I pitied that woman when I heard the story, but now I’m beginning to think I am going to be that woman.

Slightly Worse for Wear

Jake is home safe and sound, as are the dogs. We are a happy family again. It’s been hard, and I am glad it’s over.

Ever since I got home from my parents’ on Sunday I’ve been a nervous wreck. I have discovered that I rely heavily on the dogs for my sense of security when I am home alone overnight. If I hear an odd noise, I rely on the dogs to let me know if it’s something I need to worry about. Somehow, they can’t figure out that the doorbell they hear ringing is usually on TV and not real, but they know when a particular noise is a cat knocking something over rather than a psycho killer (Qu’est-ce que c’est?) hiding in the attic. And of course, ever since Sunday, I heard about a zillion strange noises in the house that had me pretty damn nervous.

Bridgie hasn’t been sleeping well and I’m not sure why. So I haven’t been sleeping well either. Last night my mom and I tried to go out to dinner with Bridget, but she was a nightmare. Screamed her head off from the minute the food arrived. No amount of holding, cuddling or walking with her could calm her down. I was so embarrassed to be that mom, the mom of the screaming child in the restaurant. I had tried everything I could think of and nothing was working, so we got the check and high-tailed it out of there. Luckily my mom got to eat, but I didn’t. And later, after I had put her down to bed, I made myself something else to eat, and she woke up crying just as I sat down to eat that. So apparently Bridget is averse to my eating as well as sleeping.

Today, when I got home from picking up the dogs, I was trying to get them both out of the back of the SUV. But this requires me to open the tailgate partially, reach up to grab both leashes and then let the tailgate the rest of the way up once I have a hold of the dogs. Well, this time it didn’t work so well for me. I got Robbie’s leash but Lucy’s has slipped off her. She ran off down the alley and Robbie was in mid jump down. But I was crouched in the driveway, so he landed in my arms basically and I fell backward in the driveway. I was so mad! I started to go after Lucy down the alley, but Bridget was in the car and I wasn’t going to leave her alone to go chase Lucy. At that point I was so mad, I kind of felt like she was on her own and if she came back, great. If not, so be it. But she was faster than I was and by the time I walked the little ways back to the driveway, she was in the garage waiting for me. But now my back hurts like hell. I wonder what it’s going to feel like tomorrow.

As you can see I am in the midst of a pity party. But I’ll be better soon. Jake is home. I made a lemon poppyseed pound cake and all will be right in the world very soon. Jake has promised me some alone time this weekend and I am going to take him up on it. I am going for a pedicure on Sunday. I can’t wait! It’s pretty much consistently warm enough to allow for sandals and flip flops so I need to get my feet all prettied up so I can bare my toes without shame.

Now, did someone say something about lemon poppyseed pound cake?

An Unexpected Treat

What a lovely surprise. I turned on a recorded episode of House tonight (recorded on March 6) and imagine my delight to see one of my several Pretend Celebrity Boyfriends (yes, Beth, I took your lead a step further and have decided I can have as many as I want, I don’t commit to just one) Dave Matthews as a guest star! Love me some Dave Matthews!

How did I get so lucky? Hugh Laurie and Dave Matthews in one show? Be still my heart…..

Weekend

What an odd weekend. I still can’t figure out what day it is. Sunday, really? Friday felt like a weekend, since Jake was home and we went and did stuff. We watched Borat, by the way. Ouch, that was painful. I mean, it was funny, but it was also disgusting.

Yesterday Jake left for Austin and Bridget and I went to my parents’ house after taking the dogs to board. It was wonderful to be taken care of and fed without having to play any part in it. I think they enjoyed it as much as I did. My dad and I took Bridget for a walk around their neighborhood in her stroller. My mom and I gave her a bath in the sink. She was very grumpy; I think that teeth are imminent. We had to go out and get her some baby Tylenol because, while I had thought that she was teething, she had never been quite so grumpy about it before, so I hadn’t thought to bring ours with us. I feel terrible for her. But it also was funny to watch the lengths that she will go to in order to get someone’s finger in her mouth so she can gnaw on it. At one point, she actually used both her hands to grip my dads index and little fingers, pulled herself up from her semi-reclined position in her bouncy chair, and then proceeded to get his finger in her mouth. He was so amazed at her persistence that he let her do it, even though it’s gross. Seriously? The feel of a baby with no teeth gnawing on your finger is pretty disgusting. I used to refuse to let my nephew do it to my fingers when I took care of him. But you’ll do things for your own child you wouldn’t do for anyone else, I suppose.

Today, I really contemplated staying another night at my parents. But I have to work tomorrow and my laptop was here. Plus I wasn’t confident in my ability to set up a wireless network at my parents’ house, and Jake hasn’t had time to breathe, much less talk me through setting it up, although we had brought all the necessary stuff to their house last weekend. So I decided to pack up Bridgie and come home. It’s kind of eerie around here. It feels like we were gone for weeks rather than just one night. And the house is so quiet without the dogs here, I’m almost nervous to be here. I kind of wish I hadn’t sent the dogs away. At least with them here, I feel a bit safer. Silly, I know. We’ll be fine.

So here I sit, Bridget is in bed. I’m watching a bad movie on TV and missing Jake. This shit really sucks. I’d like to say that after this, his travel will be over for a while, but it won’t. He has at least two more trips coming up that I know about. I could possibly go with him on one, but have mostly decided against it for money reasons. Plus I am just not sure I am ready to fly with Bridget. We’ll have to think on that topic some more.

But for now, I’m going to think about making myself some chocolate chip cookies (thank god for break and bake cookies!) and a big cold glass of milk and curling up with my book.