Call the Press!

I saw two movies this week.

I haven’t seen two movies in one week since my pregnancy. Jake and I LOVE going to the movies and used to see one almost every weekend, sometimes more if there were a few things out we were dying to see. But that all ended when Bridget was born. Damn babies are so selfish.

Thanks to generous babysitting by Jake’s sister and my parents, plus Mother’s Day Out, we are getting our movie fixes a bit more regularly than we had been.

This week, I went alone to see Sweeney Todd, which I really liked. I liked it more than the stage play. Now I know that’s odd to say but I think we saw a low-rent version on the stage. The sets were bare bones and there was no orchestra - every cast member played an instrument on stage. It was good but odd. The movie had so much more depth and the use of makeup was really good. Normally you don’t notice such things in a film, but this was really good. I’m not a huge fan of Tim Burton’s in general but I really liked this. I’m glad I went alone, though because Jake would have hated it. All the singing…. ewww… But how can you go wrong with singing about murder and cannibalism?

Today, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself when Bridget was at MDO. I try to use it as “me” time but there was nothing I really wanted to do. Pay no attention to the fact that I still have a formal living room full of Christmas decorations well over a month past Christmas. Jake decided he could squeeze in a flick so what the hell? Those decorations aren’t in anybody’s way, now are they? We wanted to see another movie more but the times just didn’t work out for us, so we ended up at Michael Clayton. This is a movie I had really no interest in when it was first released. But I’d been hearing more and more good things about it, plus all the Oscar buzz has piqued my interest. Once upon a time, I made it my business to see every film nominated for Best Picture. Well, you can see how I’ve one on that over the past year. Anyway, Michael Clayton did not disappoint. It was so good! I completely agree with all of its Oscar nominations.

Sadly the one movie we are D-Y-I-N-G to see, the new U2 movie, just isn’t happening for us. It’s only at the IMAX theaters and at wonky times, so it’ll never work for a MDO day movie. And I’ve been working so much on Saturdays and Sundays that it’s tough. I think I’m just going to have to take one for the team and send Jake alone to this one. I really want to go but he’ll be crushed if he misses it.

And now for further excitement - the Lost premier tonight. C’mon Lost! Don’t let me down!

Homeowner Woes: Part 2,487,398

Sigh. I am so sick of this homeowner shit. I’m just over it.

Yesterday in a ridiculous windstorm, a section of our fence blew over. Now, we have known for a while we were living on borrowed time with that fence. But sadly right now a new fence is simply not in the budget. And yet we have to have something or else our poor dog will be everywhere in the neighborhood, as he’s a bit of a wanderer. Jake thinks he can replace just the two posts that snapped and nail the whole section back up. I like that idea, but at the same time wonder if we should just dig deep and figure out a way to afford the fence now so we don’t go wasting money on a temporary fix.

Oh, and this morning on the lawn I found a shingle. From a roof. Ours? Who knows? Our house is two stories so we can’t see all of our roof. But as my luck would have it, it probably is from our roof.

Why did we want to buy a house again?

If This Doesn’t Melt Your Heart, You Must Not Have One

I’ve been trying to teach Bridget some sign language for a while now. But the only sign she really cares for is “more.” She was using “more” all the time, to tell us she wanted more food or that she wanted more of a toy or more playing with a light switch.  “More” has gone a bit by the wayside now that she realizes that when she says things with her mouth we applaud her and make a huge fuss over her. So now instead she just says “Ah ah ah ah ah….” and points to the thing she wants. Why am I off on this tangent? I don’t know.

Anyway, every time she’s in her high chair I make use of her time in captivity to talk with her a lot. You know, the cow says “moo” and the duck says “quack” sort of repartee. And one thing I’ve been doing is telling her I love her and using some sign language. I don’t use the one handed sign with thumb, index and little fingers up; rather I use the three sign way - I point to myself, cross my arms over my chest in a sort of hug, and then point to her, while I say “I love you!” over and over. Then I would take her arms and make the signs as I said it. I’ve been doing this for weeks. She has had no interest. She just wants more peas, please.

Yesterday she was on the changing table after I got her up and I said to her (with no sign), “Bridget, I love you!” and she looked right at me, and  took her little arms and did her best imitation of the sign I’ve been showing her for weeks that she has had no interest in, except her little arms weren’t crossed, rather sort of at her armpit like she was about to do the Funky Chicken.

That’s when I knew. I have to go shopping for a pony.

Dear Wedding Guest:

This time seven years ago, you bought me an OXO salad spinner. I know this because the item was marked as “purchased” on my bridal registry. (I understand that you were under no obligation whatsoever to purchase a gift from the registry, and would have been thrilled with whatever choice of a gift you might have made, be it on a registry or not.) However, I am a bit confused because now, seven years later, no OXO salad spinner has made its way into my cabinet. I can only imagine that when you purchased the item, you immediately saw its usefulness and innate coolness and decided that you simply must have it for your very own. I can’t say that I blame you. It is very useful and cool. Or so I imagine it might be. But since I don’t actually own one, I can’t say for certain.

At this point, I’m in a quandary and seek the counsel only you can provide. Should I go ahead and shell out the $24.99 (strangely, the same price it has been since it was added to my registry) for my own salad spinner? Or do I hold out hope that the one purchased all those years ago will show up on my doorstep, maybe delivered by Tom Hanks after it kept him company when his FedEx plane crashed on a desert island? Every time I pass the salad spinners at Target, I wonder about this. And every time I serve soggy salad I wish that I had one.

I realize at this point, you probably just feel weird about the whole thing.  I don’t mean to call you out or anything. I just want dry salad.

But if you decided to replace the salad spinner with a large check, then forget I said anything.

Love and smooches,
Spuddy Buddy

Help Wanted: Personal Punching Bag

When I decided I wanted to have a baby, I knew it would be hard. Emotionally and physically, I knew I’d be pushed to my limits. I’d have sleepless nights due to colic, teething, colds, bad dreams. I’d lie awake and worry about whether my kid was eating enough, whether he or she would become a good person or if we’d be visiting him or her in jail one day. But I didn’t know that I’d end up as a personal punching bag.

On any given day, I can find myself bitten, slapped, kicked and head-butted. All within the span of a few minutes even. Just now, Bridget slammed her head into my mouth, which she has done before a few times, but for some reason this time it hurt so much I actually cried. I’m surprised that she didn’t draw blood or break my braces wire or both.  I literally saw stars, and thankfully was able to set her down safely before losing my shit. That was some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt and while, yes, I have given birth, I had the drugs, y’all.

I want to know why this isn’t a chapter in any of the pregnancy books? Why don’t they warn people to register for a hockey mask? Although I think if you grew up with your mom wearing a hockey mask, you’d probably not turn out to be a very well-adjusted human being. See above re: visiting child in jail.

Change We Can Believe In

Just sitting here watching Barack Obama’s victory speech in South Carolina. You all know I’m not a political blogger at all. But I am so moved by this candidate, I just can’t contain myself. I’ve never been this invested in an election in my life. Jake suggested that this is the first election in my voting life that has someone that inspires and brings hope. He’s absolutely right. I’ve never had any hope before that any candidate was actually different.

This time is different. I truly believe Obama is a statesman, not a politician. I have so much hope for this candidate. So much hope for this country. I’m watching him speak, and I have chills and tears in my eyes.

It feels good to have hope again.

Is He on the Registered Sex Offender List?

Does anyone else have the L.ittle People school bus? If so, have you noticed that the bus driver looks like…. well, like someone you would never allow to drive your kids anywhere?

Note to self: Must stop calling him “Pervy Bus Driver” before Bridget gets better at imitating our speech.

Let’s Talk About Teeth, Baby

I know I shouldn’t be saying this out loud but I gotta brag on my girl.

She now has four molars, one on top and bottom on both sides. And we just discovered them.  As in, we had no idea she was teething.

Part of me feels bad for her that she went through it with no pain medication. But then I think if it had hurt her, she would have let us know and we would have discovered the teething and given her Motrin. The other part of me thinks my girl is a bad ass! She don’t need no stinkin’ pain medication.

I know you are probably wondering how I could not notice a teething baby. But she really doesn’t allow us to mess with her mouth too much. We can brush her teeth but she keeps her mouth shut pretty tightly.

Is it weird that she’s got molars before the teeth next to her front teeth? She started to get the two on top next to her front teeth and they’ve broken through the gum but they haven’t really come in. And the two next to her bottom front teeth are nowhere to be found. I hope she has those teeth.

And on a slightly unrelated note, I have to bitch about my damn braces. Besides drooling, food gets stuck in the brackets like crazy. Since it’s not polite to pick food out of your teeth at the table or generally in public, I have now twice sprained my tongue or something trying to get the food out as subtly as possible. How exactly does one treat a sprained tongue?

0 for 2

This week I’ve tried two new recipes that I found different places online. And both of them have been big flops. There is nothing I hate more than finding a recipe that sounds so yummy, then shopping for it and preparing it with anticipation, only to find nothing but disappointment at the dinner table. And yet I’m so bloody sick of everything I cook that I’m desperate for new options. I also want to find things that are somewhat kid friendly so that Bridget can eat what we eat more often. I know they say she should be, but we like a lot of food that is either too spicy for her or that she couldn’t chew.

And so the search continues….

Just Because

I have the best husband in the world.

Today, he brought me cupcakes from Sprinkles just because he was down there and he was thinking about me.

Too bad I hoovered mine up in about nine seconds. Now I want another one.