Quick Poll

Out of curiosity, I want to know how many of you out there have and regularly maintain houses that are “drop in ready” at all times?

I’m not talking about ready for a Mother-In-Law visit, because good lord, we all know those can take weeks to prepare for, depending on your particular mother-in-law and the state of your baseboards. But like if your neighbor rang the doorbell unexpectedly, would you feel comfortable inviting them in for a cup of coffee or would you make some excuse about a sick iguana and just step outside to talk to them?

I think just the fact that I’m asking this question tells you which category I fall into.

Wiggling In My Chair

I’m sitting here all jangly-nerved. You know why? Because the Sex and the City movie opened today and I have not seen it. Nor will I probably see it for a week or two. And I’m really annoyed by this fact.

This is driving me c-r-a-z-y.

Prickly Situation

Lately, I’ve been trying to find an alternative to shaving. I don’t mind shaving. I don’t cut myself or anything. But lately, even though  my legs feel smooth, you can see the little speckles of the hair beneath the surface of the skin. So even if I have just shaved, you wouldn’t necessarily think so to look at my legs.

The other day I did a test with some tweezers, and it seems to work - the hair was gone and no tell-tale black spot there. But there’s no way I have time to tweeze the hair on my legs. That’s like bailing out Titanic with a thimble. Yesterday I bought an epilator. I tried it out and I have a mixed review. It hurts, I won’t lie. But it’s not unbearable. The other complaint I have is really not the fault of the product. I think my hair wasn’t quite long enough to work right. But it was do-or-die time with the hair. I was about to cut Jake when he rubbed his legs against mine in bed at night. So I had to go over and over some spots to get the hair to come out, when I probably should have waited another day or two.

I’m reserving judgment for now. Right now, I have some red splotches that I assume will go away soon. If this doesn’t work, I’ll have to think about waxing my legs. I don’t mind that since I doubt it will hurt very much. But it will take a long time, don’t you think? I’ve never tried it. I’ll keep you posted. I know you’ll be waiting on pins and needles.

Ass-Kicking Day 1

Today I had my first personal training session. I was a little unsure about the whole thing when I realized that my trainer was going to be a man. I thought I might get a bit more sympathy from a woman trainer. But I figured I’d give it a shot.

We’ll call him Trainer Dave. He’s really nice. He used to be a cop, and I can see that totally. He’s probably my age, but he’s one of those muscle guys that I just don’t find attractive at all. I’m glad about that. If I found him attractive, I’d probably freak out and not go back. But he’s nice and laughed at my stupid jokes.  Plus he pushes me but not in an obnoxious way.

But here’s a weird thing. It’s like Big Brother Fitness in there. I bought a heart monitor on the advice of the first trainer so that I could find my target zones or whatever the hell that means. I wear the band around my chest and I have a monitor that is like a watch on my wrist. But when I was on the treadmill for a few minutes to warm up, I noticed my heart rate was showing on the treadmill. It was picking up the signal from my heart monitor. Very cool and convenient because it would be hard to keep up a pace on the treadmill when I do cardio, if I have to keep my eye on my wrist. But wait, it gets better. Toward the end of the workout, I was doing yet another set of crunches and Trainer Dave said to me “slow down, your heart rate is over 150 and that’s over the fat burning zone.” I asked how he knew that and he said that his heart monitor on his wrist was picking up my heart rate. Very convenient in a 1984 Orwellian sort of way.

I’ll probably be crying come Friday but I’m really happy with my first day.

I Can Has Advil?

I had an orthodontist appointment today and horror of horrors, I now have to wear rubber bands. Most people don’t get the bands until closer to the end of the torture treatment but not me. I’m Miss Special Case apparently. Ten hours in and I can officially say this sucks.

However, it does have the unexpected upside of making me eat less. I’m hungry. But to eat, I’d have to take the bands off. And taking the bands off means that I have to put them back on. And that, my friends, takes a good long while. It’s a time commitment, especially on the right side, because I have to use my left hand to do it.

Someone remind me that I’ll have a pretty smile to go with my hot ass (courtesy of the personal trainer) when this is all said and done.

Hate is a Strong Word

And there are very few people in the world I’d say I hate. But one of them keeps popping up in my life. And literally the mention of this person’s name makes my blood pressure rise and my face flush. I feel like the Incredible Hulk.

You know that Scruples question from back in the old college days - if you could kill one person and be guaranteed to not be discovered, would you and who would it be? This person. No question.

You guys have anyone like that? I really don’t like feeling like this because I don’t want to let this person affect my life and make me send out such negative energy into the world. But sometimes I’m just powerless.

And yes, this person really is that bad. Seriously.

Sunday Show and Tell #2

Last week I did show and tell on Friday but since Mel is moving it to Sundays I will too.

Since it’s officially the kick off of summer, my thoughts naturally turn to the beach. I am a true sun worshiper. Who avoids tanning and burning at all costs because I don’t want to look like a saddlebag when I’m fifty. But still. I love the beach with every fiber of my being. I want to retire to a beach. Next month, if possible.

In June of 2006, when I was about four months pregnant with Bridget, we got the amazing opportunity to go to Hilton Head Island with Sarah and her HUSband and some friends to stay in a gorgeous house on the gorgeous beach for free. How do you say no to that?

Our first day on the island, after having gotten up at 3 a.m. for our 6:30 a.m. flight, the girls went to the grocery store to stock up on supplies for our stay. The men stayed to “unpack.” When we returned from the store, we found that their idea of unpacking including ditching us to go down to the beach.

This is what we found when we put on our suits and meandered down to find them.

I love this picture because when I see it, I just think about our whole trip and the lazy days spent playing in the waves, napping, reading, eating and being with good friends. I can’t see this picture without smiling.

We’ll be headed to Mexico in a little over two months and hopefully I’ll have some new photos to add to my collection of beach photos that make me smile.

Indiana Jones

We saw the new Indiana Jones movie today and it was really fun! I did some quick math in my head and realized that first movie came out when I was seven or eight when the first one came out. So that was um, 26 years ago? Holy crap.I remember playing endless rounds of the Indiana Jones board game I got for my birthday that year when we lived in Houston. Good times.

Anyway, the movie was fun. This is definitely one to see in the theater this summer. You won’t regret it.

How Dry I Am

Y’all, our dryer squeals like a stuck pig.  At first, it only did it every now and then. Now it does it every time you turn the damn thing on. We looked into getting it repaired but did you know that dryers don’t have an especially long life span? Ours is five years old and supposedly that’s right about the beginning of the end. And supposedly we could try to get it repaired but the cost of that would be so high it is almost the same price to just buy a new one.

Not that we want to do that, since we’ve been spending money like a drunken sailor on shore leave, what with the vacation and the personal training and all that. But we also don’t want to do something stupid like burn the house down with a faulty dryer.

This weekend here in Texas, if you buy an Energy Star appliance less than I think $2,000, you pay no sales tax on it. I guess I should at least look into that. But here’s the dilemma. Our washer is just fine. Runs like a champ. So if we just buy the new dryer, they won’t match, but we’ll save money. But we’ll have at least one appliance that is energy efficient. But how much electricity does a washer user anyway? But if we do replace them both, what do we do with a perfectly good washer? Does anyone ever go looking to buy just a washer? I guess maybe if we found someone on Craigslist that has a perfectly good dryer and a washer that went kaput we would be a match made in heaven.

Part of me says just hold out. The squeal is annoying but I don’t honestly believe that anything is going to catch fire. But then again, I’d hate for it to crap out on me in the midst of a load of laundry one night before Jake has to leave for a trip. And you know that when it dies, it’ll be at the most inopportune moment possible.

I hate spending money on grown up boring things. Oh wait, a personal trainer is a grown up boring thing too, isn’t it? Damn.

Motivation Comes at a Premium Around Here

Today I signed over a ridiculous amount of money for three months of personal training and a heart monitor.  Well, I paid for one month and the heart monitor today. I still have two months to pay for. Want to know why? Because my body age is…. I can’t even tell you. It’s too horrible to share. But I don’t feel that old, not really. I also know I am more flexible than the test showed today because the machine was in my way. I could have stretched much farther, but the damn machine…. did I mention it was in my way???

So I hope that the combination of the ridiculous amount of money I spent and good etiquette will force me to keep it up. Because I want my body to be my age. Or younger. Younger would be ok.

I actually think that some of the goals are a bit higher than I even want to achieve. And I’ll tell you that I love to eat. I will definitely be conscious of my calorie intake now that I have a max and a minimum to go by. But I’m not really going to body perfection. I don’t care about six pack abs or any of that. I just want to find pants that fit and to lose the muffin top.

And apparently, I’m willing to pay through the nose for these things.