Welcome Baby Sawyer!

Y’all, the lovely and amazing AndreAnna over at Diary of a Modern Matriarch just had her baby boy Sawyer. And I do believe that this might be the first time that a birth was live blogged on Twitter. I love it! (No not the gory parts)

Poor AndreAnna had a really long day since she was admitted last night with preeclampsia and had her labor induced. Anyway, go visit her, send on some congratulations. Hopefully they gave that girl some food because laboring is hard work and she went all day and most of the night on a granola bar and some orange jello.

I am in awe and just waiting for photos of that little man.

Four

I had another assessment with Trainer Dave yesterday at the gym, as it’s been about a month since we started working out together. I knew it was going to happen and I was pretty nervous. I don’t know why really. I guess I just wanted to know that I am on track.

We didn’t do the full body age test like I did at the beginning, just my weight and body fat calculation. I have dropped 4% of my body fat. I stood there looking at them blankly because I was really looking to get some sort of feedback on that. Is that great? Is it good? Is it not good enough? Is it bad? A little feedback here, please! They tell me that it’s really good but I wonder how good it really is. Would they actually tell me that it wasn’t very promising? That would hardly be a motivatation thing to hear. But then again they didn’t tell me that I should spend more time doing cardio, or really think about writing down all my calories. So I don’t know.

Oh, I also lost four pounds. I expressed my concern over the fact that it was only four pounds and I got the standard response - muscle weighs more than fat. Yadda yadda yadda. Yes, I know. But I’ve been working my ass off, literally, I’d like to see more than four pounds gone. I need to be more patient. I know. Blah blah blah.

Stand By Your Man

Or can you? At least in a visible way?

Tonight, after much debating we put an Obama for President sign in our yard. And I’m really nervous about having done this.

Let me back up. I love Texas. I really do. I’m not a native Texan but given my choice, I’ll probably live here until I retire to a beach in South Carolina. But I am ashamed of how close-minded and shall we say, judgmental many of the residents of this state are. I do think that many people around here don’t use their brains a lot of the time, especially when it comes to matters of politics. Now, I’m not attacking anyone. I just think that some folks need to actually educate themselves on issues and the platforms of candidates before backing or dismissing them. This goes for both political parties. Just because your daddy’s daddy’s daddy’s daddy voted Democrat should not be the sole reason you vote for a Democrat. That’s not reason enough. Every voter’s responsibility is to educate themselves, via multiple sources to minimize bias, on the issues to determine what really matters to them before they cast a ballot. If you can’t or won’t do that, then you are unqualified to vote. Yes, I said it and I mean it. I don’t believe that straight party voting should even be legal. But I’ll get off my soapbox now because that’s not the point of this post and I’m already treading into dangerous political waters and my blog is not about politics. Plus my blood pressure is rising and it’s too late at night for that.

So now we’ve got this yard sign. In a neighborhood where we’ve already been targeted by some acts of minor vandalism. In a neighborhood where I suspect that many folks would fall over dead if a black man became president.

But we finally had to say, fuck it. We have every right to express our support for our candidate, just like the McCain supporters. And isn’t the point of living in the US to enjoy the freedoms we hold dear, in this case to say what we want, support who we want, and not be persecuted for it? So we are making a stand and taking a chance that no one will damage or tear down our sign.

But I bought two, just in case. Come on, there is a difference between optimism and stupidity.

Count to Ten

I am severely lacking in patience today. Unfortunately a healthy warehouse store size portion of patience is required to parent a toddler. Or at least my toddler. I was not doing my best impression of a good mom today.

I slept like crap last night thanks to jackassery from my asshat neighbor. I don’t do well when I don’t get my sleep.

Bridget is just such a little raccoon lately. No matter what we do, she seems to have an uncanny knack for finding something she shouldn’t have, pausing just long enough to let you see that she has it, and then running off while laughing. Forget about packing the diaper bag - that’s best done when Raccoon Child is napping to avoid having the contents strewn across the house. We are having a big fight about keeping bottoms in chairs. Last night we found her standing on the kitchen table, doing her little Flashdance routine up there. We promptly put her in timeout but had to turn our backs to hide our laughter because, while horribly dangerous, it was stinkin’ cute. Today I found her crawling across the coffee table. That landed her another 90 seconds in timeout. I know she’s too young for timeout to have a lasting effect but she does seem to understand that she is being punished and it upsets her. Not that I want my child to be upset and cry but it is part of the disclipline process.

Sigh.

I hate that I spent so much time telling her no today. And it feels like I’m yelling at her, but if you don’t raise your voice with her and use a stern tone, she just laughs at you when try to discipline her. I’ve never seen a kid do that.

Sigh again.

I’m off to bed. Maybe a good night’s sleep, plus Mother’s Day Out tomorrow will restore my supply of patience.

A Big Ol’ Steamin’ Bowl of Random

I have about a thousand and one ideas for blog posts floating around in my head. However, none of them are worthy of an entire post all their own so please enjoy the bullet points while I try to cobble something together for tomorrow.

• I got my car washed today for the first time since, oh about April. Yeah, I think it was April because I did it right before my surgery, since I knew we’d be taking a road trip that weekend. I forget how pretty my car is when it’s all clean. When I left the gym today, I actually panicked for a second because I couldn’t find my car. Then I realized that I just didn’t recognize it - my car is not actually gray after all, it just looks that way when it’s dirty.
• I’m not sure if I blogged this before or if I just Twittered it but I’ve long suspected that Trainer Dave shaves his arms and legs. I did a few sly inspections for stubble and saw none and just thought, “wow maybe he’s just naturally hairless.” But no, it’s confirmed. Today there was distinct stubble on his forearms. Why, Trainer Dave, why? I get why swimmers shave their body hair, and maybe even cyclists. But the average gym rat does not need to lose the hair for speed. Ick. Then I started to wonder what his fiancee thinks about the whole thing and if they share a razor. Double ick.
• I have yet another fucking yeast infection. I’m sorry to any men out there reading this. But damn. I’m so sick of this. I know that it’s because I had to take antibiotics for the huge gaping wound from my mole removal. There are few minor feminine problems that are more awful than a yeast infection. Obviously it’s not as bad as say, cancer. But my breast surgery was far less uncomfortable than this and that came with Xanax. And apparently I am prone to them because I rarely get just one. I get them over and over and over. Then it’ll go away and I’ll go years without one at all. My doctor has told me that I need to just make douching with vinegar and water a regular part of my routine, as in, do it a couple times a week. I also read online that some women use boric acid, making capsules out of it, placing them up the va-jay-jay. I’m not sure I can put roach poison up my hoo-ha, but I’m also not ruling it out if the prescription and the vinegar don’t work.
• I have a scribbled note to myself about a blog post idea that could either be “condom” or “condiment.” Since I have no way of knowing which it is, I’ll just talk about both. Even though we are married and healthy and not trying to prevent pregnancy, we’ve been on the condom bandwagon for a while. That’s because of my above mentioned battle with Canidida albicans. In an effort to rule out the possibility of passing this back and forth to each other, we’ve decided to use condoms until I am all clear again. And it sucks. I hate them. Just to go on the record with that. I know you all wanted my opinion. Not that we are having sex while I’m in the midst of an infection because OUCH! But in between. I won’t feel good about giving them up until I have gone two straight months without any symptoms. And yes, I’ve been to the doctor for a battery of tests.  I’m not diabetic or HIV positive and this is not chlamydia or any other STD. It’s nothing other than a stubborn cooter. (How many different euphimisms for “vagina” can I use in one blog post?)
• As for condiments, I cannot be sure what I wanted to say really. I recently decided that the only use in the world for ketchup is on french fries. I refuse to eat it on anything else. I spent most of my life thinking I hated mustard, when in fact I just hate yellow mustard. I like the spicy brown kind of mustard. If you live near a Potbelly Sandwich Works, you should try theirs. YUMMY. I crave their mustard. Mayonnaise has its place in the world but to me that’s really just in salads. In general, I don’t put mayo on a sandwich with one exception - a BLT. That sucker MUST have mayo. And it must be Hellman’s (or Best Foods depending on where you live in the country). Great, now I want a BLT.  I think that Kraft mayo and Miracle Whip are disgusting and you will never ever find either in my kitchen. Relish is the spawn of the devil and I don’t understand why anyone eats it. In fact, relish is the reason I don’t eat tuna, chicken or potato salads out or at other people’s houses. Because most of the world puts relish in these things and most of the world is wrong. I only eat my mom’s potato salad recipe, which I am learning to make almost as well as she does, and nary of a speck of the evil relish can be found in it.  I am on the fence about barbecue sauce. I am not a fan of most bottled kinds but I like it at barbecue restaurants. I think I’m all out of condiments to discuss now.
• The working out is going very well. My stomach is far far flatter than it used to be, in just a little over one month’s time. But I’m not really seeing a significant drop in my weight. I know that muscle weighs more than fat and that by building muscle I will speed up my metabolism, which will make me burn more calories even at rest. But I had hoped to see a poundage drop. My current pants are too big but a size down in pants is too small. That’s annoying. However, I bought a skirt last week in a size I have not worn since we lived in New York and the size of my wedding dress. Granted, I always wear a smaller size in skirts than I do in pants, and this does not mean that I could fit into my wedding dress today, but it was a minor victory. I also know that if I really were to be motivated I’d be a calorie counter, but I just can’t do it. I’m Italian. We eat and talk with our hands. If you take food away from me, I’d lose my identity. I do try to plan my food better and make smarter choices about food and portion sizes, but no matter what Trainer Dave says, I will not be writing down my calories. I work out so that I can continue to eat most of the things I like. In moderation. I don’t do well with deprivation and I will never consider any food off limits. Except liver. That’s always off limits but more for the gag factor than anything else.

And that concludes our random bullet list for today. Tune in tomorrow when there might be a cohesive post. Or not.

Sunday Show and Tell #8

Today’s installment of Show and Tell involves the recycling of birthday gifts.

Last year for his birthday a wee bit early, Jake got the original iPhone. Not out of the goodness of my heart really, but more because I could not take him bitching about the damn thing for one single second longer. He annoyed me into buying it for him.

Here he is with it, expressing his love for his new phone.

This year, the new edition of the iPhone comes out on my birthday. Which means that when Jake gets that one, I get his old one.

Not that I especially have a need for the iPhone. I hate cell phones in general and carry one because…. I don’t even know why I carry one. I guess for safety’s sake. I hate text messages, I don’t like getting voice mails, I don’t have any emails urgent enough that I need to see them whenever they arrive, wherever I am,  and I never feel the need to surf the web while I’m out and about. So honestly the phone is going to be very much wasted on me. I’ll be the only one with an iPhone who has no idea how to use it.

(And no, Jake does not suck for giving me a used iPhone for my birthday. I bought myself the lovely new bag recently and we are going on a vacation very soon. I don’t need anything else.)

God Bless the Internet

Today I had the distinct pleasure of meeting the lovely and amazing Stella. That’s not her real name and she doesn’t blog so I have no link to give you but if she did blog, it would be freakin’ hilarious. She does take amazing photos - go see them here. We’ve “known” each other in an online way for a few years now, at least. She was a blog friend well before I got pregnant, I know that for sure.

And we just now made plans to get together. We met for coffee at a Starbucks and gabbed for almost five hours. I’m not even kidding. We met at 2 and the first time I looked at my watch it was quarter to seven. And when I left my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

It just reminded me again of how amazing the internet is. I’ve built some amazing connections with people all over the place.  I’ve shed tears of sorrow and happiness over weddings, births, deaths, pregnancies lost and relationships ended with these friends. And most of them I may never meet in real life. But that doesn’t make the connections any less real, or mean that I care any less about the ups and downs in the lives of my friends.

Can you imagine how weird this must sound to someone a generation older? To have a friend that you care dearly about and celebrate birthdays with and buy gifts for that you’ve never laid eyes on in person must just boggle their minds. But I love how none of you think it’s weird. In fact, chances are good that if you’re reading this, you are probably one of the people that I’m talking about.

Any of you have a heart-warming tale of a connection you’ve made online?

I Need Mom Advice

Recently Bridget has started to act as though she’s going to vault herself out of her crib. She lifts one leg up, rests it on the side of her crib, and if she just pushed a little harder with her arms, would be over the side and on the ground pretty quickly. Thankfully she hasn’t quite realized that she could if she chose to.

So here’s where I need help. I always thought that we’d keep her in the crib until she could get out of it. I just never thought that she’d be this close to getting out of it. So do I just wait to see how long it takes her to get out? But I don’t want to find out she can get out of her crib by her landing on her head. On the other hand, I can’t imagine her in a toddler bed yet either. She would not stay in it. She’d get up the minute the door closed and end up falling asleep on the floor somewhere. But I don’t like the idea of a crib tent. We bought one a while back but I don’t think it would have attached to our crib so we got rid of it.

What would you do about this? Do I just wait to see how long it takes her? I mean, it could conceivably be months and months before she goes over. I kind of think that even if she does go over, she most likely will not be seriously hurt - how many kids have climbed out of their cribs over the years and lived to tell about it? And it might scare her enough to make her not do it again for a long time. Or not. I don’t know. I live in a constant state of fear over this. Every time I hear her cry in the middle of the night, I’m convinced that she’s on the floor of her room trying to get out.

Help!

I Got Nothin’

I wish I had something fun and witty to say. I’m tired, I’m stuffy and my ear makes the weirdest squeaking noise when I yawn or blow my nose. At least Bridget seems to be all back to normal.

More tomorrow. Happy Fourth of July.

Toddlers Gone Wild

Yesterday as I was doing a little work, I noticed that Bridget had been quiet for just a little too long. When I went to investigate, I found out why she was so quiet. She was apparently very busy doing this:

Closer inspection shows the exact utensils she finds the most intriguing:

Since a couple of these things could be dangerous for a little one who stands on her tiptoes and reaches one sticky grabby hand up into the drawer and feels her way around for what she wants, it’s apparently time for drawer locks. I was hoping to avoid those since I hate drilling too many holes into our cabinetry. But she’s tall enough and curious enough now, and also not content with emptying the drawer or towels and cloth napkins. I guess we need to consolidate sharp objects and put a lock on that one drawer.

When, oh when will my kitchen be my own again? When can I use pot or a pan without having to wash it first because I don’t know if there is toddler spit and dog hair in it from being dragged around the house?

I won’t hold my breath.